Secret Society of List Addicts

5 Things Every Woman Should Be Able To Do

*eLLa* iNsPiRed was started after being so inspired by all the amazing blogs I was reading everyday. I'm a 23 year old creative therapies student who happens to be one of if not the biggest Gilmore Girls Fan ever with a serious chocolate addiction.

1. Replace a light bulb – so you will never again be in darkness at the worse possible moment.
2. Own a tool box – and be able to name and use its entire contents.
3. Learn how to make a fire – have a barbeque and pool party with your girlfriends and make the fire and cook the food yourselves.
4. Change a tire – in heels so the next time you get a flat you can very gracefully deal with it.
5. Get rid of a creepy crawly – like the dreaded spider, eeewww, by yourself. Whether it be by being armed with a can of Doom to spray it with poison or stepping on it with your stiletto.

Weird Personal Quirks that are Probably not all that Weird

Posted by The Naked Redhead

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I always think that I'm totally weird for doing certain things until someone else is like, "Oh, I do that, too!" So, in the name of gathering a little moral support, here are a few weird quirks I have that are probably not all that weird.

1. Keeping my food separate--This Thanksgiving was a good example of this, since my rather large family decided to do the whole meal "buffet style." I arrange all my food on the outer edge of the plate, and I make sure that nothing touches. I don't know why I do this--I'm perfectly fine with casseroles, so why not--but it sort of skeeves me out to have my food touch. I also have to eat it in order, clockwise. Again, I have no idea why this is.

2. Toilet Paper Over--I am a firm believer that my trips to the bathroom will be enhanced by a toilet paper roll that is hanging over, not under. I've actually been known to switch rolls in places that are not my home, which is probably a little rude. OH WELL.

3. Watching horrific surgeries, but not horrific horror movies--I loved TLC when it was actually, well, The Learning Channel. I loved when they showed all the surgeries and I could sit there for hours watching a corneal transplant. On the other hand, I HATE horror movies with all the blood and gore. Yuck.

4. Labels Out--I like to arrange my food stuffs so I can see what they are. This means that some of my cupboards look really neat, which is not my intention. It's not necessarily anal-retentive so much as it is, "Oh hey, I'd like to know what I'm eating."

5. Refusing to abbreviate while texting--I KNOW it's shorter to type out "where r u?" but I just can't do it. It hurts.

What are your weird personal quirks that are probably not all that weird?

Things I Want For Christmas

Let's give ourselves over to some pure, unadulteraed consumerism and natter on about all the things we want people to buy for us, shall we?

1. Cutie Patootie Office Accessories
This paper clip bird! A fancy ink pen! A wax letter seal! And maybe, just maybe, The Best Calendar Evar?! (yes, that's the sound of shameless self-promotion that you hear.)

2. A Fancy Lady Closet
I have big plans to paint the interior of my walk in closet leaf green and stuff it with inspiring photos. But for Christmas, I think I probably need some fancy-ass wood hangers, heaps of tiny perfume bottles, glass drawer pulls and an upgrade from my white plastic laundry hamper.

3. A Vacation Somewhere Hot
I've got a $500 flight voucher burning a hole in my pocket and I've been pondering how to spend that. Savanna? The Florida Keys? San Diego? Mostly I don't care as long as it's someplace with sand and water.

4. Book Upon Books Upon Books

How about every single book that they sell at Urban Outfitters? As well as everything the hardback editions of everything ever written by Kurt Vonnegut, David Sedaris, Annie Proulx and Tim Winton?

5. A Membership to a Cheese of the Month Club

Really suprised you with that one, didn't I?

What are you hoping to find under the tree this year?

Posted by Sarah Von

Things That Always Make Me Feel Guilty

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Some big, some small, these are the things that are pretty much guaranteed to bring out the guilt in me!

Accidentally swearing in front of someones child - You know the type of thing, you're in a shop, someone bumps into you and makes you lose your footing, or you drop a fragile item you don't really intend to purchase and that wave of panic that you may have broken it comes over you and you just can't help swearing. Then you turn around to see an angry-looking mother and her giggling 4 year-old who has just learned a new "naughty" word.
Taking the last piece of cake / biscuit, etc. - Particularly at work when someone has brought food in for their birthday, even if nobody else seems interested in it!
Getting something someone else misses out on - Gig tickets that sell out quickly, something limited edition, if a friend really wants it but isn't quite quick enough, I always feel really bad for them.
Being unable to afford the latest charity appeal - I give as much as I can, but even though I really can't afford to give any more, whenever a new cause tries to get some cash out of me and I am unable to oblige, I feel really bad about it.
Accepting gifts etc. when it's not my birthday - I always feel the need to buy a gift in return to even the score!

What makes you feel guilty?

Dudes I'd Switch Teams For

Though Alexandra is neither a unicorn nor a socialist, she writes a fantastic blog with the name of Unicorns for Socialism. She loves Target's accessory isle, peanut butter flavored breakfast cereal and tiny packets of real creamer, resting in dishes of ice cubes.

I'm an out-and-proud gay lady, but that doesn't mean I'm utterly oblivious to the swarthy charms of the burlier sex ... although it's somewhat telling that 7 out of 10 dudes I'd switch teams for are fictional characters. And 1 is a cross-dressing woman.

* = Denotes a fictional dude.

(1) Oscar Wilde
We'd make merry at the local opium den, exchanging bon mots with London's drug-addled dandies. Followed by a make-out session by the docks.

(2) Howard Moon* (from The Mighty Boosh)
We'd dress in matching utility shorts and arrange our paperclips into symmetrical hedges. And then sex.

(3) The Phantom of the Opera* (as played by Gerard Butler)
Gerard Butler + Andrew Lloyd Weber + a velvet cape = sexual orientation confusion.

(4) Howard Roark* (from Ayn Rand's The Fountainhead)
OK, so he blows up a building because it doesn't meet his aesthetic standards. But the dude's an architect with orange hair and a rock-hard bod from working in a granite quarry! What's not to love? Am-I-right ladies?

(5) Brian Kinney* (from Queer As Folk)
I'd switch teams for Brian in an instant ... except then he'd have to switch teams for me, and then I'd get befuddled and switch again just to be thorough, and before long we'd be back where we started. Except dizzy. And strangely horny.

(6) Special Agent Fox Mulder* (from The X-Files)
First choice = Scully. But if she's on an alien spaceship or otherwise engaged, Mulder'll do in a pinch.

(7) Barack Obama (President of the United States)
But I’d be thinking about Michelle the whole time. Heh.

(8) Every member of defunct Canadian boy band soulDecision
I can't really explain this one. Their late-90's hit "Faded" just does things to me.

(9) Mulan* (when she's dressed a male warrior)
Do legendary crossdressing combatants count? I'm going with "yes."

(10) Santa Claus*
Two words: unlimited presents. Three more words: cookies and milk. And two more: flying vehicle. Best sugar daddy ever!

Who would you switch teams for?

Secret Society of List Addicts

5 Things Every Woman Should Be Able To Do