That stupid emergency pull cord on the garage door opener that I hit EVERY SINGLE TIME I get out of the car. Usually, I manage to avoid it getting into the car, but I can never quite figure out where it is when I get out. And then flick. Right on my head. I hate that thing.
Waiting for my top coat to dry when I do my nails. SO FRUSTRATING. What's even more anger-making? When I don't wait long enough and end up with smudges or bubbles or scrapes. Grrrrrrr.
How excellent I am at procrastinating. You'd think I'd be thrilled with myself for being so good at something. I mean, I'm world class. I'd be Olympic caliber, but I'm a pro and don't truck with amateurs. Which, actually, brings me to another thing that's anger inducing - the idiocy of having professional athletes play in the Olympics. Seriously? What part of AMATEUR ATHLETE do you not get? And everybody's doing is is not an excuse. You're better than that.
The inability of my body to regulate its temperature. COME ON. I cannot possibly be freezing and then 15 minutes later suddenly be able to melt ice cubes by standing near them. That is just not right. And it particularly makes me angry that it's always in that direction - freezing to core reactor meltdown. Do you have any idea how hard it is to cool down?
What makes you angry? This list?
Tuesday, April 26, 2011 | | 73 Comments
I know I'll probably lose a lot of people here and I'll come off as some kind of cranky old person [which I am, so whatever] but I can't handle hiding this anymore. Here is a list of things that people seem to love - TO LOVE! - that I cannot tolerate.
The Office. Seriously, that show is ridiculously bad. IT IS NOT FUNNY. A single sidelong glance when someone is being a douche is funny. A show built on the premise that that's all you have to do to bring the funny? Is lazy and un-funny.
As a subtopic - Steve Carrell. Not funny on The Daily Show, not funny on The Office, not funny in The 40-Year Old Virgin or that execrable movie with Tina Fey. In order to be deadpan funny, you have to be FUNNY. CF: Leslie Neilsen. You can't just mope around, idiot-like, shlumping in your every-day doofusness. You need to be able to bring it. And he cannot.
As a further subtopic - Judd Apatow Movies. Just awful. Not funny, not smart, not "Oh, so true to life!" They are a masturbatory exercise by a guy who thinks I AM THEREFORE I AM FUNNY. You. Are. Not.
Roasted Garlic. It tastes like burned feet. It ruins everything it touches. Either use garlic, or don't, but stop making that awful, awful paste and slathering it on stuff. It's not good.
What have you got, friends? Anyone left out?
Tuesday, April 05, 2011 | | 27 Comments
Posted by TKOG of Not That Kind of Girl.
Honestly, I can't tell you how happy these photos have made me. There's been constant giggling.
The runners up:
And the winner:
The next contest will be the first week in May with the theme: SPRINGTIME!
Thursday, March 17, 2011 | | 2 Comments
Workin' a soul-crushing office job, 89-93% of the quality of my life is directly determined by Pandora's ability to discover a cheesy late-90s middle-school-dance song that I'd completely forgotten existed. A strategically placed boost of Tal Bachman's "She's So High" is the difference between chirping cheerily on the phone, or storming out for an "I QUIT!" coffee break. I -- I take my Pandora seriously. And, after much measured thought, here are a few features I think could make my life even better:
Skip whole artist: I'm sorry, world, I'm just never going to like The Beatles. I do, however, apparently like George Harrison's solo work? (Don't tell Pandora, though. I finally got it to stop playing "Hard Day's Night".)
Commercials that won't make me sound like a pervert to my boss: Why do I have so many Trojan commercials advertised?!
"Great song but not for this station": When I get a song I love, I need to jump on it immediately, but it's led to some kind of weird situations. Like my current favorite '80s Pop Slash Middle School Dance Party Jamz. Clearly my love for Edwin McCain's "I'll Be" deserves its own station.
Toggle controls for objective song qualities: I know the whole point of Pandora is that we don't even know all the qualities that make us love a song, but there are a few things I'm sure of. I know I prefer: fast songs, male vocalists, and hilarious accents.
- fun times
- guest post
- wise words