Standing Alone - And Being O.K. With It
by Suniverse
I know I'll probably lose a lot of people here and I'll come off as some kind of cranky old person [which I am, so whatever] but I can't handle hiding this anymore. Here is a list of things that people seem to love - TO LOVE! - that I cannot tolerate.
The Office. Seriously, that show is ridiculously bad. IT IS NOT FUNNY. A single sidelong glance when someone is being a douche is funny. A show built on the premise that that's all you have to do to bring the funny? Is lazy and un-funny.
As a subtopic - Steve Carrell. Not funny on The Daily Show, not funny on The Office, not funny in The 40-Year Old Virgin or that execrable movie with Tina Fey. In order to be deadpan funny, you have to be FUNNY. CF: Leslie Neilsen. You can't just mope around, idiot-like, shlumping in your every-day doofusness. You need to be able to bring it. And he cannot.
As a further subtopic - Judd Apatow Movies. Just awful. Not funny, not smart, not "Oh, so true to life!" They are a masturbatory exercise by a guy who thinks I AM THEREFORE I AM FUNNY. You. Are. Not.
Roasted Garlic. It tastes like burned feet. It ruins everything it touches. Either use garlic, or don't, but stop making that awful, awful paste and slathering it on stuff. It's not good.
What have you got, friends? Anyone left out?
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21 comments:
You had me at that picture, hilarious!
I agree with you about The Office. But roasted garlic?!?! Seriously?!?! I think its one of the single most delicious things about there. I could practically devour it completely on it's own (though it goes AMAZINGLY well with red wine!!). - Okay, I'm getting hungry...
I totally agree with you on the roasted garlic. It is SO BITTER! I prefer raw garlic, any day.
AMEN!
I cannot stand the Office. I know Michael Scott is supposed to be awkward and obnoxious but he's too over the top...also while I do find a few Aptow movies funny I don't understand the allure. Maybe if I got high I'd be willing to sit through his movies.
i'm with you on everything but roasted garlic, provided that the garlic is appropriately marinated before roasting. i like the texture.
i did like "funny people," which is an apatow movie, but i think it's the exception that proves the rule with him. by it being so good, it makes the other things he does look that much dumber and vacuous by comparison.
i agree with all but the roasted garlic bit... I could eat that shit three meals a day on and in everything. Yum.
Yeah, "The Office" (UK or US) was about 3 x 1 minute sketches stretched out into several hours.
That and I've never worked with that number of idiots in that small of an office.
I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree. I'll still read your lists I suppose... :P
I agree with all these points! My husband loves the Office. While I may chuckle once per episode (usually if someone falls down, I am a sucker for slapstick) I generally read or blog or avoid the room when he is watching it.
The only Steve Carrell movie I like is Dan in Real Life. He isn't his typical character and enough awkwardness happens that you generally forgive him for being... Steve.
I am so with you about The Office. I just don't get the allure.
So with you on the “American” Office a very poor relation of the original Office….2 rocking series and Ricky Gervais walks away with a classic to savour as opposed to 10 gazillion series and a plot line stretched thinner than butter on an economy sandwich which makes Steve Carrell look like the burnt garlic of the comedy acting world…..
Not sure who Judd Apatow is but I’m guessing that’s not a bad thing, my life certainly did not improve after I discovered the twin horror that is Jim Carrey and Adam Sandler…sad thing is when they stop gooning about and try and act properly they manage to raise their games to mediocre shit….
I agree with you 100%
Thanks for your comment on my blog. How can you not like The Office (UK version of course)! :)
Justin Bieber, anything Kardashian, Ben Stiller movies
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you are a poop poop head, boring to read, and probably boring to talk to in real life.
I hate pointy-toed shoes, which all other women seem to adore. They make your feet look STUPID, people. I also hate when so-called classy stay-at-home-wives sell stuff like makeup or bowls or candles or jewelry... awwww, did your picket fence get too expensive to afford? Or are you feeling the need to contribute? Or are you trying to "find" yourself? *blah*
Definitely in agree to disagree territory here. It feels like that pivot point in the relationship -- when it goes from "I know; me toooo!" to "Really? You're going to chew like that for the rest of your life?" Not deal-breakers, though. Things I can't stand: detectable egg whites (I'm fine about cake, yo), vanilla, aspic, young conservatives, The Three Stooges, Kevin Costner, Journey, Abba. Also not too high on mayo. There seems to be a whiteness theme emerging...
I love your writing very much! share we be in contact extra approximately your post on AOL? I need a specialist in this house to solve my problem. May be that's you! Having a look ahead to look you.
I agree with everything in this post. I'm so sick of people saying "you don't like Steve Carell?!?"
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