My college experience was a little different than most. For starters, I went to a very, very conservative Baptist college where kids got kicked out for drinking and fornicating (not necessarily in the same offense). I also was married by the time I started my Senior year. BUT, I still learned a few life lessons. You know, because that's what you're supposed to do in college.

1. Think about it--No really, think about it. Think about everything you've ever been taught, throw it out the window, start from the beginning and re-think it through. Stop taking everything for granted. Question everything. Yes, it'll get you into trouble, and yes, it may mean that you break ties with people and ideas, but it's awesome.

2.  Trying new things should be a way of life--So maybe I didn't get much of a chance to try a naked keg-stand for the first time, but improv? Strolling around NYC without an agenda? Tasting weird local delicacies? Yes, yes, and yes.

3.  Sometimes the most relaxing thing in the world is a blanket, warm sun, the quad, and the (sights and) sounds of boys on guitars--No explanation needed.

4. The coolest teachers will force you to grow beyond the subject matter--Whether it's your college professor, your boss, or a mentor, the best teachers will ask you to read the book, then challenge you to reach beyond the words and think, "How will I be different knowing what I know now?"

5.  That back boiler room window? Perfect for late night returns/escapes--Er, I meant to say...always have a backup plan.

What did you learn in college that didn't come from a textbook?

Posted by The Naked Redhead

No need for an explanation. Let's get started, shall we?

1. Insecurity is a disease--We all have our little insecurities...our hang-ups, our neuroses, our things we feel like we just can't get past. Insecurity, however, prevents us from getting the jobs we want, the love we want, the sex we want, the life we want. Insecurity (which, in reality, is just your Inner Critic) will keep a powerful and amazing individual weak and small. I've seen it happen to others, and I know it's happened to me. Insecurity causes people to self-protect, sometimes in somewhat harmless ways (e.g. self-deprecating humor) but sometimes in harmful ways, too (e.g. malicious gossip, withdrawal, abuse). Beware of insecurity in yourself and others.
2. Everyone appreciates small kindnesses. Everyone.--Throw in a word of (genuine) praise into your latest e-mail, hold the door, pick up the pen that stranger dropped. Kindness paves in-roads to connection. And connection, ultimately, makes us matter.
3.  If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck...it's a duck--Trust your instincts. If a person says one thing, but consistently does another, well...it's most likely that the actions are truer than the words. Quack, quack.
4.  Passive-aggression is still aggression--Passive-aggression might be clothed in the sweetness of a backhanded compliment, a veiled threat, or suggested situation, but it's still aggression. Being stabbed with a velvet handled knife is still, er, stabbery. Do not engage.

5.  People will always surprise you--We already know that people will surprise us with the depth of their badness (one only needs to check the news every so often for confirmation of this fact) but in my thirty-some years, I've learned to love when people surprise me with the depths of their kindness, charitableness, forgiveness, and generosity. I love those moments of surprise. Love them.

What have you learned about people?
Posted by The Naked Redhead

I think it's always good to have a little check-in with one's self to see the things you like and the things you need to fix.  Here's the stuff I like about myself lately:

1.  My hair--It's gotten super long, and I've finally figured out how to handle all of it.  Yay!
2.  My work ethic--I've been putting a ton of effort into the things I really want, and letting go of the things that hinder me from getting there. 
3.  My new, "push through the shyness/awkwardness" attitude--I'm making new friends, lots of 'em, and even though sometimes I still feel a wee bit self-conscious, it's been cool to connect with people.

What about you?  What stuff do you like about yourself lately?


Posted by The Naked Redhead

Aiming for a life free of regret is a pretty good goal, I think. There are a few occasions, though, I wish I could temporarily revisit with my present-day knowledge and temperament and self-assuredness so things might have turned out a bit better.

When my first boyfriend broke up with me. I cried, I told him I'd miss him, but the truth is I had planned on breaking up with him; he just got to it first. A little more nonchalance, or maybe having the lady-balls to go ahead and end it, would have been more true to myself.

Breaking up with my second boyfriend to go out with a total douche. My second boyfriend is the only guy other than my husband who I view as a totally stand-up guy, then and now. Although I highly doubt we would have been a matrimonial match, I really could have done without that douche.

Deciding against that road trip sophomore year of college. Tough to explain, so just take my word on it.

Choosing to get an MA instead of an MFA. I really enjoy the degree program I'm pursuing (writing and editing), but part of me thinks I didn't choose to apply for the MFA program because I was afraid of failure. If it were practical, I'd do both.

Not taking that Benadryl last night. Because I was still wide awake at 3 a.m.

Do any of you guys want a do-over?

Posted by Erin of The Fierce Beagle

Remember when you were a kid, thinking "I can't wait until I'm 16 so I can...", or "When I'm 18 I vow to..." or "When I'm 21 I'll finally be able to...", etc. Well there are a few childish things I cling to that I really wish I'd grow out of.

Thinking I can just hold it until I get home. Seriously, just go pee in a public bathroom already. I'll thank myself when we get stuck in traffic.

Stop believing those uncomfortable knickers will magically feel better today. You'd think after experiencing the gloriousness of really large granny panties while pregnant, I'd grant myself a little more comfort in the underpants department.

Making the wrong choice at restaurants. I'm the kind of girl who goes for her favorites, but at new restaurants I occasionally misstep and order something that sounds "interesting," and end up hating it. Instead of trying to be fancy and ordering that seafood pasta that tastes like fish water, just go with the spaghetti and meatballs.

Any little quirks you'd like to give the kibosh?

Posted by Erin at The Fierce Beagle

When I cut out pig, cow and bird from my diet last October, it prompted a gradual, but profound change in my attitude toward food, my diet and fitness.  Probably the biggest thing I've learned is that when it comes to caring for and demanding the best from your body, take everything one moment at a time.  Here's a few small victories I've learned to congratulate myself on over the past few months.

1.  Saying no to the office "treat"--At my work, there's a running joke that newbies gain a "freshman fifteen" during their first few months here.  It'd be hard not to, what with free breakfasts, cookies, birthday's and celebrations happening at least twice a week (seriously, it's ridiculous).  Sometimes it's easy in these situations to say to yourself, "Just one won't hurt," or, "It's her birthday!  I have to celebrate!"  I've found, however, that saying no even just every other time there's a treat is a small victory.  EAT THAT, DELICIOUS BIRTHDAY CAKE!

2.  Getting right back on the wagon after you fall off--I've learned that no day is "ruined" by one bad choice (though I'd argue that donuts are ALWAYS a good choice).  What I've learned to do instead is see that poor choice for what it is (maybe I was PMS-ing, or maybe I needed a little indulgence, or hell, maybe I just wasn't paying attention) and then I pretend it never happened.  I go about my day as if I had eaten healthy the whole time.  Believe me, this is a much better choice than what I used to do...which is say, "SCREW IT!  THIS DAY IS OVER.  I'M HAVING ICE CREAM.  TWICE.  AND BEER."

3.  "Just five minutes"--Sometimes I spend the last hour at work arguing with myself about my workout.  "But I'm soooo tired!" I'll whine, to which I'll reply, "But your thighs are really jiggly!"  If I'm really in a sour mood about it, I bargain with myself:  "Just five minutes and then you can stop."  Well!  If that isn't the best little trick I've learned!  Half the battle is just forcing myself to get my workout gear on and get moving.  And once I'm moving, well hell, why don't I make five minutes into ten or twenty?

So!  What are some of your little victories that make you proud of yourself?  (They don't have to just be about your health!  Like, sometimes I just congratulate myself for remembering to turn my library books in on time.)

Posted by The Naked Redhead

Let's get one thing straight: in my grannyish heart, the only thing more irksome than bad grammar is the kind of galling jackassitude it takes to correct total strangers on their grammar. Please don't think I'm that dude. But ever since the day when I was 19 and decided to figure out "who"/"whom" for once and for all, I've been a zealot for reforming errors of my grammatical slash lexical ways. Here are a couple little linguistic snafus I've spotted in my own vernac -- and sometimes see even my word-lovin' counterparts occasionally mess up.