Things that are Better in Theory than Reality

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You know what I mean. It seeeems like a good idea, but then? You do it and it's pretty damn lack luster. Things like:
  1. Ice Skating. Sure it seems romantic and graceful. But really? My feet and ankles hurt after three minutes, I'm cold and there's a six-year-old showing me up as I shuffle around the rink once to her seven times.
  2. Dating The Bad Boy. Seems hot and exciting. Mostly just exhausting, humiliating and emotionally damaging.
  3. Really High Heels. I cannot walk, dudes. Seriously. No walking. I look hot, but I cannot make it to my car.
  4. Grad School. Oooooh, how romantic! I'm going to be surrounded by heaps of smart people talking about fascinating things all the time! Or, you'll work really, really hard, have no money and no social life. But when it's over, you'll probably be glad you did it.
  5. Big Boobs. I cannot vouch for this one personally, but I have many, many friends who can. Too much staring, expensive bras, sore backs.
  6. Cosmo. I always think I want to read it, but then 30 pages in, I feel fat and I think I can hear my braincells crying.
  7. A lunch consisting of Doritos, an ice cream sandwich and coffee. Really? That doesn't turn out well? Weird. Because I never seem to learn and keep trying to do this at least once a week.
What do you think fails in the harsh light of day?

Posted by Sarah Von

18 comments:

just a girl trying to find her place in this world said...

I can seriously relate to every single one of these. I wore really high heels to work today. I walked about a block to lunch. So stupid. But I will do it again later this week. Maybe next time I will walk to get some strawberry ice cream and funyuns...

insomniaclolita said...

2 and 6. I can totally relate.

Scribbles said...

Sarah Von - if you could just get out of my brain, that would be great. I agree with all apart from my supernatural ability to walk in high high heels :D

earlgreyrooibos said...

1.Communism
2. Writing a novel, at least for me, as been one of those things that was way better in theory than it was in practice

Gail said...

1. Getting up early on days off. I always think that it is going to be amazing, but I can never do it, and end up feeling guilty when I don't manage it. I just need to accept that I am not gonna be one of those early risers!
2. Wearing foundation. About once a year I go through a phase where I decide I am going to try again with foundation and look all lovely and even skinned. I buy some and use it for about a week before I remember that I hate it.
3. Really long to do lists. Do I never learn?! If they are shorter then I feel that I accomplish more!

Nicole said...

This made me laugh. Why do we insist on going back to these things even though they fail every time?? They sound appealing to me even now, even though you just (rightly) shot them all down.

Erin said...

Great points, all. I'd like to submit eating 3 cupcakes for dinner as a fail.

Might I add "morning exercise routines"?

Michelle said...

Umm...exercise in general. Hate it. I'm doomed the day my metabolism slows down.

Bridey said...

+ Snow - the novelty wears off very quickly!
+ Tequila shots
+ High heel shoes - I totally agree!
+ Hair cuts - my hair rebels if anyone goes near it with scissors
+ Art galleries and museums - I feel like I should go to them, but am always underwhelmed
+ Coffee - I like the idea but hate the taste!

just a girl trying to find her place in this world said...

Bridey - Tequila Shots - I am completely with you on that one!
Gail - Every Friday night I tell myself I will get up early Saturday. I actually do it once in a while but then end up vegging out in front of the computer with a large mug of coffee until my "real" wake up time...

applejuice2424 said...

Going out drinking til dawn - Fun at the time, til the hangover kicks in and doesn't leave for a week...

Watching DVD's all day - Awesome til you realise it's midnight and you haven't done anything on your list.

Pretty shoes - Same theory with the high high heels, the prettiest shoes always end up hurting the most at the end of the day!!

LitVamp said...

1. Being in someone's bridal party
2. Picnics (bugs! dirt!)
3. Eating any meal at the beach (Sand!)

Roxanne said...

1. Ugh. Breasts. Owie my back hurts. And also my life, a little.
2. Not getting a berth on that overnight ferry, 'cuz it's cheaper.
3. Doing a shot that contains tabasco
4. Jogging (see #1)
5. Not wearing makeup, as a sign of like. How I am liberated and comfortable with myself. And then looking in a bathroom mirror and going "GAH!"

robotnic said...

lol, this is great! Best list I've read on here, for sure.

Bethany said...

My list is all noggin related...

1. Bangs.... can't live with 'em, can't stop dreaming about cutting them again.

2. Headbands. They give me a headache and they always creep stealthily off the back of my huge head.

3. Hoop earrings... big ones. Yeah. Sometimes they seem like the answer but for me personally they are not. I always end up snagging my thumb through one while pushing my hair back and then nearly ripping my ear off.

4. Those teeth whitening strips. I swear to God that after three days of wearing them I could feel my heart beating in my teeth and it felt like I was chewing my food with soft rubber pellets in my mouth (instead of teeth, yo.)

Beth said...

* huge slices of chocolate cake - I always think I will be able to finish them, but three sickly sweet mouthfuls in I realise its impossible, but next time I go into a cafe I will buy another one!

* gym membership - I convince myself that I will go at least twice a week...I always cancel before my three week trial period is up

* watching TV all day - seems like its going to be luxury...just makes me feel lazy, slobish and bored

emily said...

pen pals. "ooh, yay, i have friends overseas who i've never met but they write me!!"
fizzles out after 6 months, tops.

Heidi Rose said...

No one will probably agree with me on these, but:
Foundation- at least the kinds I see people wearing just make their skin look dry and powdery. I can SEE that they are wearing it. Not pretty.

Lipstick- I like to wear it, but it seems the more I see it on anyone's faces, the more I feel like the best and most beautiful color is the one underneath the makeup.

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