The List for Dudes. By-A Lady

A few years ago, I read an article where a fifteen year old teenage boy wrote to the columnist lamenting his sad lack of girlfriend.  The columnist replied with something along the lines of, "Kid, forget the girlfriend and hit the gym, read some books and learn the art of conversation for the next five years.  I promise when the time comes, you'll be confident enough with who you are that you'll be up to your eyeballs in p*ssy." 

Crass advice, sure, but true.  The bottom line is, women tend to want a partner who is well-rounded and has a little depth.

Here's a few things I'd add if you, er, want to be up to your eyeballs know:

-"Funny" wins more points than "handsome".  You might have gorgeous pecs or a chiseled jaw, but a sense of humor trumps perfect looks any day.  I've known many a lady who has been with a man who may not be a Brad Pitt, but he sure can make her giggle.

-"Real, easy confidence" wins more points than "Yo, I can bench press my car".  Fluffy or skinny, out of shape or chiseled, have confidence in who you are (and the body you inhabit) and we will think you are the hotness.  Seriously. 

-"Working on issues" wins more points than, um, "Being a Crazy Pants".  We are really sorry you went through all that shit as a kid, and we totally agree that the one girl who tore your heart to pieces and gave you The Clap was a nasty-ass ho, but please, please, get some help before you bring that mess into a relationship.  We will listen, comfort and support you as much as we can, but at the end of the day, we cannot (and should not) be your mom/therapist/minister. 

There you go, boys.  Anyone else have anything to add to this list?
Posted by The Naked Redhead


Diggestive said...

If you want to watch sports go to the pub with your mates, but not more than once a week

Magatha-May said...

Don't spend all morning in the bathroom preening but make sure that you do actually wash regularly. I know it's basic but not everyone actually follows that one. It's usually all or nothing.

Chrissy said...

Learn to apologize and admit that u made a mistake.. It isn't that hard... An apology will go far...

Erin said...

Don't lie. Hard honesty is always more admirable.

niceguyted said...

Make sure you're reading blogs by dudes as well as chicks. It's important to get the XX perspective, but don't forget that you're an XY.

Anonymous said...

Pick up a book and dream big. Men with big dreams always draw me in.

The funny thing is so right on!!!

Heidi Rose said...

Fantastic list. I feel like what girls imagine they want, and consequently what guys think girls want, is very different from what makes them happy. My current boyfriend is nothing like what I had "pictured" I wanted, but he makes me so much happier than that.

Mandy said...

It is my first time here, and this made me laugh. It is so true - I wish I could go back in time and instead of dating all of those lame guys, learn a new language or learn how to synchronize swim or something.

Love it!

Other Mother said...

oi... the therapist one is so true. I've played therapist and it isn't fun. We all have our stuff to deal with, and it's one thing to be supportive of one another, but to expect the other person to be your safety and "fixer" isn't fair. Great list.

Jen said...

Take some pride in yourself! How you look, what you do, who you are.

Anonymous said...

I agree: confidence, humor and sanity go a looong way.

So do politeness and generosity. I've judged dates by how nice they were to both me AND, say, the waiter or bartender.

Don't limit possible relationships by having a specific "type": date the brunette, even if you swear you're only into blonds. Date the punk chick, even if you're R. Kelly's biggest fan. Maybe opposites don't always attract, but different interests can definitely make things ALOT more interesting.

Arnetta Green said...

First time here. *wub* Anywho, I would add that while confidence is great, humility and the ability to laugh at oneself is also important. Guys that are too into themselves are no fun. And you hit the nail on the head with that therapist advice. Lol

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