Reasons I’m Totally Excited To Move In With My Boyfriend*

Leigh lives in Asheville, North Carolina, where she blogs at Full Gastronomic Tilt, works for a non-profit, and is finishing her MPA. She likes asparagus and dark chocolate, though not together.

After living alone for nearly 6 years (the vast majority of my awesome 20s), I’m taking the plunge and getting a new place with my boyfriend of 4 months. Fast? Almost certainly. But we work together in ways I previously thought impossible. (He thinks my morning breath is cute?!? Ok, that’s definitely the honeymoon phase talking.) As a formerly rabid fan of doin’ my own thing and a newly-stamped convert to giggly coupledom, I present to you:

Reasons I’m Totally Excited To Move In With My Boyfriend*

1. Somebody else can cook dinner
I love to cook. But after a string of 14-hour days and a thesis paper looming, it will be a wonderful relief to come home, bleary-eyed and barely coherent, and find something hot and nourishing waiting. Even better - the nights I come home, he takes one look at me and says, “Y’know, let’s go out instead.”

2. Splitting the chores
I hate taking the trash out and doing the dishes. As an adult living alone, I resigned myself to those chores, knowing it was all part of growing up. If I didn’t do them, who would? Now, there’s an answer to that question. Amazingly, boyfriend offered to do the dishes ALL the time if I agreed to do the laundry. Done and done….sucker.

3. On-tap snuggles, encouragement, validation, etc.
Who doesn’t love snuggles? Fun to give, fun to receive, and guaranteed to make a bad day better. When I doubt myself or hesitate in making a decision, he’ll be there to tell me to go for it. And when I’m having an ”I feel fat/ugly/whiny” day and nothing looks right, he’ll still tell me I’m beautiful…or tell me, “Get over it.”

4. Discovering our rituals
I have my Ways I Like Things from years of living alone, and he his. How will they work together? Who feeds the cat? Who takes the first shower? Will we make time for each other in the morning, at night, or both? Will we go out to brunch every Sunday or take turns cooking and read to each other? Endless possibilities.

5. Hosting parties together
I have long been the type of girl who dreams about hosting kick-ass theme parties, and marvel at my friends’ talent for it. Yet pulling off a party solo is a difficult task reserved for Martha Stewart and her clone army. Luckily, he’s just as excited and even more creative. Halloween masquerade, anyone?

6. Simplicity
In preparation for moving, I’ve had to take a long, hard look at everything I own and consider it carefully. Four boxes of books already donated to Goodwill. One more box is my goal before packing the rest. Nearly 6 years of acquiring stuff…three weeks to decide what stays and what goes. Art of minimalism, indeed. Unfortunately, with us both being avid cooks and him a techno-geek, the kitchen continues to expand. Champagne, white, AND red wine glasses? A must. Waffle maker, electric juicer, KitchenAid stand mixer, microwave, burr coffee grinder? These are the bare necessities, darling.

*Your mileage may vary. Above examples not guaranteed in all relationships. For comparison shopping purposes only. Showroom model boyfriend packed with options, not for sale.

Do you live with your partner? What are the upsides of sharing a space?


Misfit Toy said...

This is insane. I totally could have written this whole list myself (only, we've been together 6 months instead of 4, rock on sister!)

I keep telling my hunnie, "Im excited for the little everyday things." It kinda just makes me want to squeal with glee. Congratulations! Looks like we're moving right around the same time too!

Technicolor Bride said...

After living by myself for FOUR years! and dating my guy long-distance for those same FOUR! years... we finally signed a lease this past weekend! We're moving into a kickass industrial loft in a city that's new to both of us.

I needed this post so much right now! We get the keys in a like a week!

stephanie said...

i live with my boyfriend...actually fiance (we got engaged two days ago!!) and i adore your list. he cooks all the time. plus we have a trade going too - i'll do the laundry, if he picks up all the dog poo. i'm pretty sure he has the worse end of the deal :)

Nathan said...

I have been living with my partner for almost 6 months now. We knew each other but not very well, on and off for a couple years.
We had a very rough getting together period. We both had to shed...baggage.
We dated for a summer and now we are living together. I moved across state lines so that we could be together.
I can honestly say, it is not easy, but so far the benefits greatly outweigh the non-benefits.
After reading that list, I will guess that at least half of those items will cause arguments or disagreements that will cause some form of frustration, but working through frustration is what helps two to grow as one.

My greatest recommendation from my 6 months of experience, find a NEW hobby you both enjoy, and do it, talk about it, bitch about it. That has helped us to draw very close.

Kaylen said...

My fiance and I moved in together in July. I LOVE living with him. It's like a sleepover every night :)

However, the merging of stuff was messy. We both have a lot of crap, apparently - and we both think that it ALL is important. A good editing eye is key!

juliana said...

Ahhhh simplicity. We are both getting rid of lots of things, and I love that, too.

I love being utterly myself in a shared space. It adds a layer of security and acceptance to the relationship. And it almost makes it MORE fun when we get dressed up and go out on a date.

Great list, Leigh!

Leigh said...

@MisfitToy Thanks! It's scary but comforting all at once. Yes, the little everyday things...waking up next to him is #1 on my list!

@Technicolor Bride Congratulations!

@Kaylen It's good to encourage each other. He'll get me started tossing stuff and then I'll feel all excited that I'm making progress and keep going. We're hoping not to transfer anything to the new place that we wouldn't end up tossing anyway.

Georgia said...

We have parallel lives, it seems! My awesome, adorable boyfriend of two-ish months and I are talking about moving in togehter this summer, and we can't stop talking about all the perks. He said something funny the other night, as I was leaving to go home to sleep with my cats and leaving him to his dogs, "I can't wait till our slippers are at the same place." That's really what it comes down to, right?

Not gonna lie though, I'm gonna miss living alone just the slightest. It really is heaven.

Roisin Muldoon said...

My boyfriend and I have the same deal with regards to chores. He takes out the rubbish and does the washing up, and I deal with the laundry. It's AWESOME, I hate taking out the rubbish.

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