Feminine Traits That Are Fifteen Times Sexier Than Whatever Trend Hollywood’s Cooking Up This Week

Poets have long debated the mystery of feminine beauty. Good news, though! Yon bards can cool it, ‘cause I’ve cracked the code of the top five all-time sexy attributes a female can possess.

A bulky watch on a slender wrist: Something about seeing an old-fashioned men’s timepiece or unwieldy diving watch weigh down a tiny wrist emphasizes the femininity of a girl’s bone structure. Plus, an out-of-place accessory cues the innocent bystander into instant intrigue.

A slightly deep voice: Oodles of girls fake brain-dead giggly simpers, but as far as I know, no girl’s ever intentionally lowered her voice. A throaty tone suggests a girl who’s being genuine, and that’s hot.

Really simple clothes: Y’all can keep your gladiator sandals and bolero coats. Give me a girl in olive green cargo pants and a black tank top any day of the week and I won’t look twice at anybody else.

Kickass calves: If I ditched my semi-vegan diet for cannibalism, deserted island style, the calf would be the first muscle I’d braise and munch: if you’ve got some meat on you, they’re beautifully curvy, but guaranteed to have a solid mouthful of muscle. ...oh, and, uh, they look really good too? I guess?

A book in her purse: Come now. This one’s self-explanatory.

Well, that’s one heterosexual lady’s perspective, anyway. Fortunately, there’s a lid for every pot, so what says all-time sexy to you?

Posted by TKOG from Not That Kind Of Girl

7 comments:

Los Schoenys said...

YESSSS!!!! I win in the calf department!!! I pride myself on these babies. Glad someone else can appreciate 'em!

Alison said...

I rock the book in purse and the slightly deeper voice.

I'm also a fan of these fitted white racer back wife beater looking tank tops I have. I think they're just masculine enough to make them step from being a ho-hum tank to a secretly sexy weapon.

Vee said...

Does a Kindle count? It holds many books.... =)

Sadako said...

I totally love to wear olive green cargo pants, black tank top, AND gladiator sandals! And I am quite the reader. Should I be waiting for a come on? :) I'll have to warn you. My olive green cargo pants are not THAT easy to get into.

Luinae said...

I win in the calf department- and the deep voice department! My music teacher told my I would have to sing the lowest alto part, and that I had a "man voice." It was rude then, but I take it as a compliment now!

besswess said...

I think long messy hair is gorgeous. The soft waves that are wind blown are the best.

simplesavvy said...

I'm pretty sure Lauren Bacall purposely lowered her voice. Not to be that random jerk or anything, but she talked in too low of a register for her vocal chords and ended up straining them, and there's a syndrome named after her and Bogie: http://speechtherapy.ygoy.com/do-you-know-about-bogart-bacall-syndrome/

Although as long as we're talking about modeling ourselves after sexy women, Lauren Bacall is the way to go.

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