Lifetime "Milestones" I'm Not Looking Forward To

I've definitely found that aging is not nearly as terrible as I'd imagined it would be.  In fact, thirty has been a fantastic year, and I'm looking forward to the next decade (where I'll get to do my twenties over but just be less of an idiot about it this time).  However, there are a few "milestones" that aging brings that I am certainly not looking forward all.

Mammograms--I know they're necessary, but helllooo?  Boob squishing machine!  No thanks.

Colonoscopies--Blarg.  It's not even the colonoscopy itself that's bad (you're in a twilight sleep), it's the "preparation" beforehand.  Bah.

Being the Weird Old Aunt--You know, the one that never has kids, enjoys art festivals and rare beers, and talks about her pets ad nauseum?  That'll be me.  Probably is already, and definitely in ten years.

Odd Fat Deposits--That roll wasn't there in my twenties!  I didn't even know you could GET rolls there!

And look, I don't mean to be crass, but...The Graying of My Pubes--Won't that be sad?  I mean, because if your pubes go gray, then you know everything--EVERYTHING--is old. 

What milestones are you dreading?

Posted by The Naked Redhead


Melanie's Randomness said...

Being the old aunt definitely & the rolls & watching my kids get older.

Hannah said...

ok. can you please not write about graying pubes anymore? I'm at work reading this. How am I supposed to tell my boss that I just BURST out laughing at graying pubes!?
I am not looking forward to a lot of things about getting old...but that one just plain freaks me out! how depressing that must be!

Alison said...

Gray pubic hairs? Crap. Maybe I'll just dye those.

I do fear growing granny hairs on my chin and being so old that I either don't notice or don't care that I'm sprouting a beard.

Daughter of a King said...

Bahaha Gray pubic hairs! While that one took me by surprise, I guess I'm not really worried about that because I'm thinking the random fat deposits will eventually impede my view of the whole graying process.

Being a short person already, I am very worried about when I start going to the doctor only to discover I'm shrinking. I'll probably start a little Boniva fest with Sally Fields when I hit 50, just to be on the safe side.

Kelly L said...

Oh God... I'm totally going to be the weird old aunt and I didn't even realize it. Sigh.

KateLavin said...

At 26 I think I may already be the weird old aunt... and my nephew's not even 3 months old yet!
No kids - check (most likely won't be any either)
Art festivals - check (and craft shows, and yard sales... YIKES!)
Rare Beers - check (even make my own, can you say yum?)
Talking about pet ad nauseum - check (my dog KC this... my dog KC that...)

New to your blog, and as a fellow list addict (I should seriously consider buying stock in Post-it notes) I thoroughly enjoy your blog!

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