Ways I've Almost Totally Died, For Reals


It doesn't matter if some people have called me a "hypochondriac" or not, here are a few ways I've almost totally died, for reals.

Wire stuck in eye--When I was eight, I was playing with a fragment of old electrical wire (yeah, don't ask) and I swung it around in a big circle.  Out of nowhere, I swung it right in my face, and the frayed end of the wires got stuck right on my eyelid.  OK, so maybe I didn't almost die, but it was definitely a moment of utter terror.

Deer jumped on car--This really happened to me, and it was super scary, because I was going like, 75 on the freeway, and these deer were stuck in the median and couldn't get out with all the traffic.  One of them panicked and literally jumped on top of my speeding car.  It was awful, for both myself, my car, and the poor deer.

Forced to watch second Twilight movie in theatre--Meehhhh, maybe I didn't physically die, but my brain sure did give up its little brainy ghost.

Ran red light at busy intersection while checking self out in rear view mirror--Dudes, I looked super hot that day, what can I say?

As a child, forced to eat cold zucchini for breakfast--Yeah, my parents had the rule, "If you don't eat it for dinner, you'll eat it for breakfast."  Those crazy adults were NOT playing around.

Posted by The Naked Redhead

4 comments:

Melanie's Randomness said...

I almost drowned when I was 5. I ran across the pool cover in the winter & fell through. Um I accidentally slit my wrist on a jagged piece of metal, knicked an artery. It was bad. But I'm still kicking!! =)

That Kind Of Girl said...

My parents always threatened to apply the "if you don't eat it for dinner, you'll eat it for breakfast" rule, but they usually got so caught up in chanting: "...and if you don't eat it for breakfast, you'll eat it for lunch. And if you don't eat it for lunch, you'll eat it for dinner again. And if you don't eat it for dinner..." that they totally forgot about whatever veggie I was rejecting in the first place.

Raquel said...

In New Zealand, a man DID die while watching Eclipse last week, so count yourself lucky! http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/3885798/Man-found-dead-after-Twilight-screening-in-Wellington

I once nearly died when I (encouraged by my friends), drank a whole lot and then smoked marijuana. Not my shining moment in life, throwing up in a kitchen into a pot someone had put into my hands. Yum.

Chrissy said...

Aww come on eating zucchini? lol....
I could have gotten seriously hurt driving home on the freeway at 2 am... I was going at least 100 mph...serious...i never saw the needle hit that high...and it didn't feel like i was speeding.. dumb thing i did at the age of 19

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