Things I Was Taught as a Child


The Naked Redhead hails from Columbus, Ohio and uses her vast wealth of “experience” to write about dating, relationships, love, and sometimes squirrels. When she’s not blogging, she is working on her master’s degree in marketing and communication. She usually regrets this decision. However, when she’s not blogging OR doing homework, she enjoys a good book, a great cuppa joe, and spending time with her boyfriend, neurotic dog, and two cats.
Hello, my fellow Anal Retentive List Makers! I’m excited to share one of my lists with you today, mostly because no one else will listen, nor read my lists when I leave them on his pillow.
Whatever.

Anyway, I grew up as the daughter of a Baptist minister, and I’d like to share a few of the things I learned in what I feel was a very loving, albeit incredibly sheltered and backwards, home. I was taught:

  1. A girl’s body is a temple. A temple that should never ever be near a boy, or a boy’s penis, at least until she is married, and then she should only get near said penis when the time came to procreate.

  2. Dancing is for married couples to participate in within the privacy of their own home.

  3. Singing is best when done loudly with organ music.

  4. Morality cuts off at the knee. Dresses below the knee are modest. Dresses above the knee are decidedly slutty.

  5. Sexual content on the television or in the movies should be greeted with general panic and anxiety. An added, “Honey! Where’s the remote?! WHO HAS THE REMOTE?!” by my father, while he leaps from the couch, is usually a good addition to the situation

  6. Broadway is a wicked place and you should never want to go there. At least, this is what my mother told me when I told her I wanted to be an actor. I was eight.

  7. Crazy women fall in love with clergy. My dad always had all the crazies just “stopping by” to say hello, at which point, he’d say, “Oh…hi! Let me get my wife,” and pawn them off on my less-than-sympathetic mother.

  8. Brothers and sisters are built in best friends. Arguments amongst siblings were not tolerated. I hope to teach this same lesson to my children, should my uterus betray me after all these years.

  9. “Shut up” is a mean thing to say when you say it for real.

  10. It doesn’t matter where you come from, it’s where you end up. My ending is drastically different than what my parents hoped, but I can’t regret my past or the things that I look back on and find to be silly or close-minded. I am who I am because of…and in spite of…my childhood.
What did your parents teach you, for better or for worse?

7 comments:

dinnerwithfox said...

1. To be insecure
2. To hate yourself
3. To use other substenses to deal with your problems
4. Keep everything inside, never voice it
5. To be shy, Unstable relationships are ok
6. Other people have the ability to hurt you
7. To think negetively, everything is negetive
8. Everything is your fault
9. Outter apperences matter
10. You'll never be good enough for anyone or anything

Yeah, i know. My parents werent great, but i still love them. I had to unlearn everything they taught me. Which is a blessing indisguise, im a far better person because of it. They did feed me, buy me things and house me - Im grateful for that.

Rachel Premo said...

1. "Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll still be up among the stars." (I actually thought that this was an original quote from my mom until I saw it on a poster in junior high...)
2. That I could do anything that I wanted to, if I set my mind to it.
3. Manners
4. To love reading
5. We moved around a lot, so I learned how to make friends easily which has translated into "networking" in the business world.
6. To look things up when I didn't know the answer.
7. That I represent my entire family to the world each time I walk out my door.
8. A very painful and belated lesson in personal finances.
9. The importance of recycling (my dad used to dig through the garbage in the kitchen when my mom would throw anything recyclable away)
10. That I can never do anything bad enough for them to disown me.

I have amazing parents--I am a very lucky girl.

Erin said...

1. Never stir your tea with a knife if there are no clean spoons ("stir with a knife, stir for strife"). Actually that one's from my grandmother, who lived with us.

2. Never date a boy who doesn't treat you the way you should be treated. (That didn't always work out, but I definitely married a guy who treats me well).

3. Pets are people too.

4. "Blood is thicker than water."--aka, family is the most important thing.

pretty said...

1. respect those who are elder than you
2. the magic word "please"
3. strive to stan on your feet
4. dont say anything if you have nothing good to say.
5. always pamper yourself, after a hard day's work!!!!

ps: i miss my mummy!

releasealittledemon said...

I totally agree with #8--my siblings and I weren't allowed to fight and it made us really good friends because we couldn't just write each other off.

Other things...
1. Having a ballerina for a mother is harmful to your self-esteem (sorry, Mom).
2. Being cool in high school is actually really lame (self-taught).
3. Learning to play music will make you good at math (total lie).
4. Swimming is a team sport (um, not really).
5. Being among the first to turn 16 years old makes you really popular (see #2).

Jackie said...

I love #3! The organ is my favorite.

From my mother:

1. How to save money.
2. How to not care about other people or what they say or think about you.
3. How to laugh at misfortune.
4. How to shop wisely.
5. How to cook and cheat at cooking when appropriate.

From my dad:

1. How to treat strangers.
2. How to talk like you know what your talking about.
3. How to face my fears.
4. Lots of things about airplanes.
5. Ways to avoid a house fire.

Ronda said...

From my mother:
Don't get raped.
From my father:
Don't embarrass the family

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