Things I Do When I Think No One is Watching
One of the great things about living alone is giving yourself over to complete, Miss Havisham caliber eccentricities. Nobody cares what you do in your apartment all by your lonesome! Here are a few of the things that I like to do when I'm (pretty sure) no one is watching.
- Engage in complex and involved fake ballet routines, complete with alert dancing face
- Lecture the cat about his attitude
- Talk to myself. All.the.time.
- Pick
- Flirt with myself in the mirror. "Look at yoooouuuu, cutie!"
- Come up with witty retorts to real (or imagined) slights. Practice them out loud.
- Fanny around in my underwear
What eccentricities do you engage in when you think no one is watching?
Posted by Sarah Von
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9 comments:
Hmm...where to start...
-Singing along at full volume to every song
-Sitting cross-legged on the living room floor & getting super into projects - sewing curtains, making absurd cards for people, making pointless and highly girly collages to hang inside my closet...
-Having lengthy conversations with the cat, fer shur
-Applying dark red lipstick while halfway undressed and then swanning around reading the New Yorker and pretending I'm Zelda Fitzgerald
- Talk to myself
- Make little happy noises from time-to-time
- Take my bra off for a while
- Wear my jogging pants (not for sport)
- Sit on the stairs
i totally:
+ wear lipstick and/or shimmery eye shadow up to my eyebrows.
+ drink milk/juice/tea/applesauce directly from serving container while standing in front of refrigerator.
+ scold the cats and/or ask them what they did all day. answer: they did NOT do the dishes.
+ try on outfits i'd never wear outside of the house.
+ take showers SO LONG that i use up all the hot water.
I am embarrassingly:
- Pretend I am a CSI and working with Catherine and Grissom on solving a case.
- Carry on long conversations with myself
- Put on fashion shows
- Sing and dance around like crazy.
- When I get out of the shower walk around only in my towel.
- Watch Nickelodeon
pick my nose!! shuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuush... ;)
I love the phrase 'fanny around in my underwear'. I got a fit of the giggles at my desk.
Ministry of silly walks! Bonus points if you can maintain it both up and down the stairs.
I totally fanny around in my underwear! There is nothing better!
I also:
* turn my music up and have a dance around my room, in aforementioned underwear!
* put on really dramatic make-up that I would never wear outside my bedroom.
* Talk to myself, sometimes referring to myself in the third person, I'm not sure why.
* picture all the fabulous dinner parties I plan on holding, knowing all along that I don't have the energy at the moment to throw them!
* whisper my secrets to the zebra that my ex-boyfriend bought me. She's such a good listener!
Sunshine & Sparkles!
xxxx
I also think of retorts and tellings off to things people have done [or might eventually do] to tick me off.
I sing along with my ipod and pretend I'm a very good singer in a smoky bar, and everyone thinks I'm awesome, when in reality, I feel bad anyone who sits next to me in church.
And I try on outfits that are awesome, but are too bright/ too severe a silhouette/ too fantastic for me to confidently rock in public.
And I burp as loud as I want. LIBERATING!
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