Aspects of Modern Life I Want No Part Of

I'm not a total scrooge. Or a complete party-pooper or nay-sayer. I promise! But there are many aspects of modern life that illicit eye-rolls, dramatic sighs and lots of "I'm sorry, I have a previous commitment." A few?

Wedding Parties
Now, I don't mean to say I won't be your bridesmaid. What I mean is that, should I ever walk down the aisle, I have little-to-no interest in forcing my best girlfriends into peach-colored dresses and those dyed-to-match shoes. I'm also nigh-on positive they have little interest in peach-colored dresses.

Baby/Bridal showers
I don't want to open boxes of lingerie in front of my aunts and act scandalized. I don't want to play games involving diapers and baby bottles. I have no interest in eating cookies baked into the shape of a tiny bootie. Again, I will happily attend your shower, but if you attempt to throw me one? You will quickly be de-friended.

I grew up in a house surrounded by an acre of uninterrupted grass, edged by pine trees that required bi-weekly edging. At the tender age of 14, I remember calculating the amount of time my parents spent maintaining this yard (something like 63 hours per week) and deciding that lawn care? Not for me.

Baking 15 different types of Christmas cookies
I'm a cheese girl. A salty and savory type. So it's not really a surprise that I don't go in for excessive cookie baking. One batch of rolled sugar cookies? Yes. A million different types of cookies? So I can get fat and spend all my free time mixing batter? No.

Secret Santa Gift Exchanges
I love my colleagues. Really! But I don't particularly want to spend $5 a day giving them crappy, tiny trinkets that they probably don't want and will re-gift next year. How's about we just close the office early one day and all go out to eat somewhere nice?

Enrolling my (imaginary) children in a million different types of lessons
If I have kiddos and they are particularly bent on dance/French/table tennis lessons, then by all means! Yes! Let's do it! But I don't think I could ever be that mom who spends her afternoons shuttling her children from one practice to the next while the kids quietly hate me for keeping them from their tree fort.

What parts of modern life receive a hearty "No Thanks!" from you?

Posted by Sarah Von


Brittany said...

I completely agree with the enrolling children in a million different lessons. Never will I ever do that to my future children.

I also never ever want to have to wear a suit. No one in my life can believe that I have made it to college on scholarship without ever wearing a suit... and my goal is to keep it that way.

Ashe Mischief said...

I definitely have to agree on the weddings, the bridal/baby showers (I'll even say bachelorette parties, too) & the Secret Santa gift exchanges...

Vixel said...

Hear hear, on all accounts but particularly wedding parties!

One aspect of very modern life I would love to avoid but having chosen a legal career path, will probably have to embrace, is the whole getting work emails at home and having to do work online outside the office. Right now I love email, but I reckon as soon as I start my "real" career I'll probably grow to loathe it!

The Naked Redhead said...

All of those things. Also, babies, in general. No thanks.

Lara said...

Could not agree more on all of it.
- bachelor and bachelorette parties
- home ownership and all the ridiculous expenses and labor tied into it (including that yard work)
-living beyond your means (like buying a new car every couple years, credit debt, etc)
- jumping on the baby wagon and having my social life revolve around others with children, like most of my friends are doing these days
- jobs with an excessive commute - I don't want to lose 3 hours of my day to sitting in traffic
- getting married and complaining about my husband ALL the time, like most of my friends are doing
- being a slave to my possessions - so many nic nacs and things filling my home that having to clean it all weighs on me
- now that Thanksgiving and Christmas is on its way - dinners dinners dinners and cooking huge meals for people I don't really want to be forced to see - and going into debt and killing myself to find the perfect gift for everyone. I'm seriously downsizing on stress this year

Lulu said...

Having a million credit cards. So far I have none and hubs has one and we do just fine.

Also online/electronic diaries. I am a paper based schedule book girl all the way!

Kalee said...

Semi-Homemade. That lady disturbs me. Call it whatever you want, but buying angel food cake and putting canned frosting on it is not homemade, it's just crap. Sorry.

Darcie said...

@kalee. agree. that woman is a sham!

Luinae said...

Hear, hear!

Lady Smaggle said...


Fake tanning - No. Freaking. Way. It's disgusting, it smells like ass and it looks ridiculous. I'm not into sun tanning either. I'm pasty and proud!

Spending lots of money on unnecessary stuff - I come from a mega yuppy city full of business men and women who spend butt loads on tiny meals and crazy cocktails. Get me a bottle of gin, a balcony and some cheese and crackers and I'm good to go!

Oh and totally agree with the pen the paper thing! I have an iphone with notebook and diary applications and I still fill a bag everyday with moleskines.

Amanda Nicole said...

I am so with you on weddings and showers. Truly, they just feel like a giant chore.

Anonymous said...

I loved Lara's comments on holidays. I think I am going to do that this year. I really don't want to see anyone. I just want to relax.

I do have to confess that I am glad that my parents made me take lessons. I only had one activity at a time, but the exposure was good. :)

Jessica said...

I whole-heartedly agree on every single one of those things. Especially wedding and baby nonsense. I also wish there were a non-"party pooperish" way of saying Secret Santas are a waste of time. Everyone should have a list of things to make it simpler. "Pay my library fines, buy me a funky pair of socks." There, done, and with some things that were a million times more useful than a santa figurine. Unless I use it to prop up my reading light. :)

Godlesscupcake said...

- Co-worker gossip
- Weddings, bridal showers, baby showers, etc.
- Credit cards and other forms of fake money
- Cars that run on oil only
- Omnivore diets
- Religion
- Shopping
- Mandatory general Ed college courses (so far a repeat of my early high school experience; a total waste of time)
- Clubbing/partying
- Drinking alcohol
- "Networking" for business, socially, etc.

Anonymous said...

Hello (: (I'm a guy, I think I'm in the minority here. Not that it matters at all)

I like this post, I like this blog, I like the idea behind it.

From reading the list and the comments, it strikes me that what I'll call "selective luddidity" may an important element in modern life. Perhaps a coping mechanism. By this I mean, we pick an aspect or element of our modern, hyperconnected, electronic, superanalyzed lives and eschew the modern thinking. While going with the flow in so many ways, we swim against the current in a few. And it is those few ways that we distinguish ourselves from each other and stretch like a link between the past and the future.


For me, I don't care for cable TV, electric cars, or bluetooth anything. And I'll be fine if I never own a weed-whacker or attend another bachelor party or shower, or play golf with colleagues.

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