Things That Should Be Awesome But Actually Aren't

Lady Smaggle is a lifestyle and fashion blogger at who loves swearing, red wine and karaoke.

1. Drinking champagne in a spa bath
I blame Kate Moss for making me do this. Sure it sounds glamorous but in reality it's really dehydrating and frankly, quite dangerous. The effect of the alcohol is heightened, your drink won't stay cold, it's sweaty and slimy, and inevitably some dirty bastard will try to feel you up and blame the water jets.

2. Getting your hair cut like a celebrity
The amount of times I've happily skipped off to the hairdresser, clutching a magazine tear-out of Jennifer Aniston and returned looking Cher circa 1988 is ridiculous.
Sex on a beach - I don't care what anyone says. It's just total crap. And those people who say it's awesome have obviously never tried it.

3. Throwing parties while your parents are away
Why does anyone ever do this? There's the secrecy, the threat of police, teenagers drinking irresponsibly, the morning clean-up, the awkward conversation with your mother when she asks what happened to the dog's eyebrows...

4. Music festivals
The expectation - fabulous bands, cold beer, wearing gum boots with summer dresses, relaxing in the sun. The reality - Waiting in line to go to the bathroom for four hours, being charged $5 for a plastic cup of water, killer sun burn and your favourite band being cancelled.

What things never quite live up to your expectations?


Anonymous said...

Bubble baths and wine....I have to disagree. I like drinking while I soak. :) Just make sure to bring a glass of water.

piglet said...

Going for ice cream. It never lives up to my childhood expectations of 2 gigantic scoops for 70c.

Melee said...

Personally, I drink orange juice while I soak in the tub. I find it very gratifying. =D

I think the season of Spring never lives up to my expectations. Where I live, it morphs too fast into Summer... and I always get atrocious allergies.

Miss Sofia said...

I totally agree about throwing parties while my parents are out. Every time I attempted to do this, I didn't have any fun. It was hard to find excuses for broken things, and it was hard to keep the neighbours from babbling, and it was just annoying and complicated.

Anonymous said...

About number four: you have clearly missed out on Eastern Europe! The beer will be cheap, the artists awesome and you won't even need the gum boots! - I'm telling you.

RazorCandy said...

Ah, the old celebrity haircut.

When I was eighteen I went to my hairdresser armed with a handfull of promo stills from Veronica Mars.

Unfortunately, what looks cute and quirky on Kristen Bell looked like a spunky middle-aged lady on me.

cereal and cartoons said...

So true about music festivals. So expensive. So hot. Always missing the band you want to see, or not being able to see them because you have to go to the loo or are waiting in line...aggghh. Yet I always keep going back :)

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