Appallingly Rude Things I Do When Left Alone In Your Room

A strike-list -- in approximately chronological order -- of what I'm doing in your room while you stupidly wander off to take a shower. aka: an itemized account of why no one should have a one-night stand with me ever ever ever.


Vanity searching my name on your Gmail. Guess you probably should have logged out of your account, huh?

Going through your bookshelf. What's this, sir? The spine of your Portable Dorothy Parker isn't even lightly worn? And you seem to be using it to hide a dog-eared copy of The Da Vinci Code?! Tsk, tsk.

Checking the sizes of your clothes. This is such a terrible thing to do that I cannot defend it. But you know next time you're alone in a frenemy's room, you're going to try it too.

Rifling through your underwear drawer. While I'm already in your chest of drawers, no harm in pawing around to see if I can uncover old lover letters, a Vicodin stash, or a few -- ahem -- artsy photographs of you and your ex.

Pulling a tape measure out of my purse to measure the square footage of your bedroom. Yes, I do actually carry a tape measure; no, this is not its sole (or even most common) use. Still, if you've ever lived in a 200-square-foot microstudio, you too know the joy and sorrow of becoming a recreational real estate appraiser.

You ... you guys do all this stuff too, right? It's not just me? Discuss your most horrible house-guest habits in the comment section to make me feel less like a creeper.

Posted by TKOG from Not That Kind of Girl.

11 comments:

elizabeth said...

I always peek at and scrutinize movie/music collections if they are available. If your iTunes library is full of Nickelback and Britney Spears, we obviously have nothing in common.

The Naked Redhead said...

I silently judge book collections.

Greta said...

I always look at people's books and cd collections, yes. And when I get into their bathroom, I have to see what's in their toilet cabinet. It's awful, I know, but I can't help it. I NEED to know what make-up remover they're using.

Kate @ Tres Lola said...

I don't know honey! If my friends were rifling through my knickers drawer and checking my inbox I'd have some serious words to say to them. I don't really do anything much... I do check out the cd/book collection but that's about it...

Melanie's Randomness said...

My A.D.D. kicks in on over-drive!! I check everything I can get my fingers on!! hehe.

Lady Smaggle said...

I'm a medicine cabinet peeper. Love them drugs!

Aury said...

Creeper, lol :)

I try not to do anything but I mean curiousity does kick in. i kick open their closet and check out their fashion style history (or lack there of):)

besswess said...

I find myself going through the mail.

Annie said...

ALWAYS the book collections.
It reveals so much!

kathryn-louisa said...

Book/CD/DVD collections are just so revealing, it's difficult not to look. And then even more difficult not to judge. Does this make us bad people? I hope not...

x

http://sparklesmiledance.blogspot.com

NoviceWorldTraveler said...

I look for their secret porn stash. And if I find a Playboy under the matress? I'm taking it home.
I've also looked through underwear drawers (but only of guys I loved/despised-for-not-loving-me-enough) and found a picture of the current girlfriend with a schmoopy love note written on the other side. End of THAT activity.

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