The first time I realized I was a little out of touch with pop culture was in the eighth grade, when one of the popular girls hummed along with the new Eminem single as we worked on a Spanish project. “My name is – my name is – hi! my name is—“ I shot her a haughty glance: “Um, your name is Meghan.”
What can I say? I’m a little out of touch. Here are some other things that the general populace goes (lady) gaga over for reasons I just can’t understand.
Nature: Dude, if you like looking at nature so much, why don’t you take a picture? Oh, oh wait, people have. And those pictures are on the internet. Get a MacBook, Thoreau.
Sex And The City: If I wanted to spend my evenings watching desperate 30somethings with questionable wardrobes, I’d just hit TGI Friday’s happy hour after work.
Clubbing: So let me get this straight. Not only do you want me to shell out $15 for a Dixie cup of vodka and Kool-Aid while listening to music I hate and rubbing myself on the general populace’s sweaty torsos, but you want me to pay for the pleasure?! And what’s the best-case scenario? You spend half an hour gyrating with some guy who, for all you know, doesn’t know the difference between “your,” “you’re,” and “yore” and spend twenty minutes counting his genital warts as you give him a handj in the back of a towncar? Pass.
Indie Rock Ballads: Okay, your songs don’t rhyme. I get that much. But is irony dead? Or were we saying that ironically? Holy god, is irony a zombie?!
Men With Visible Muscle: Whenever I hear a chorus of girls “ooooh!” over Channing Tatum’s ripped physique, I feel like a redneck in a modern art museum. So the bumpy abs and grapefruit calves, this is what we’ve decided male beauty is? I’ll play along, but when they have their mouths closed, all men are about the same to me.
What do people drool over that you just can’t get your head around?
Posted by TKOG from Not That Kind Of Girl.
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