Things I never thought I'd do before having a kid


My son, Ethan, is two. We're starting That Great Adventure...potty training. Yesterday I realized he's incited me to do several things I wouldn't have thought I would do pre-kids.

Outdoor potty breaks. I'm not against copping a squat when the occasion is appropriate, but consenting to a toddler peeing off the back porch? Didn't see that one coming.

Bribery and extortion. I consider myself an upstanding citizen, but when you've just spent the last 20 minutes trying to get someone else to put on pants, less-than-favorable methods come into play.

Middle-name calling. In lieu of shouting or having a nervous breakdown in the middle of JC Penney while Ethan squealed while weaving in and out of clothing racks, I resorted to a stern "Ethan Lucas," hissed with ferocity.

Consider M&Ms and two strawberries a complete meal. Ethan's a pretty good eater. He's also an accomplished snacker. I've decided to make food a non-issue, since he tends to eat well in general. And by in general I mean over the course of a week.

What about you guys? Anything you refuse to do when you have kids? Anything you parents out there have done that you thought you wouldn't?

Posted by Erin of The Fierce Beagle

4 comments:

Anne (in Reno) said...

I grew up in a girl-dominated household (four daughters and mostly female friends and cousins) so the peeing in strange places never really crossed anyone's mind. Now that my sisters have boys, this seems to be a common thing. As in, all my nephews taking turns peeing on the same tree at a birthday party. In a public park. I think we just missed out on this (in my childhood, at least) due to lack of the equipment.

Chrissy said...

Missing the urge to cut up food.... but that urge is now gone.. my kids are 28, 25, 19....

RMb said...

haha, now i dont feel so bad when my 2-year-old daughter wants a sucker & goldfish for dinner!
i used to vow never to take a screaming child into a store. i now realize that the child was perfectly fine upon entering the store and they would later become the screaming terror that everyone notices. so what do you do? you finish shopping as fast as you can (i can wait another day to pick out eyeshadow... but i really need milk) and get the hell out of there.
incidentally, when my daughter is screaming, i make some wise crack like "this is doing more for you than your other method of birth control, isnt it" to the sneering people in line behind me. it usually makes them smile & i look somewhat in control of the situation.

MP said...

I never thought I would resort to singing children's song in order to entertain my kid anywhere. The grocery store line, Target, walking down the sidewalk, every.blessed.moment.of.my.life.

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