Things That Say "Love" More Than A Cheesy Hallmark Card

The other day, I called my amazing ex-boyfriend in an absolute tizzy. "Honey," I told him, "I'm writing a story and I need to figure out why the girl loves the protagonist. But I just realized that I don't know why people love each other or how they show it and YOU NEED TO TELL ME RIGHT NOW." While I don't recall the answer he gave, it occurs to me now that love is taking phone calls like that one, just for starters. Based on my field research, love is also:

Hating all the same movies. You can be positive and supportive with anyone else in the world, but sometimes you just need your fellow old man muppet.

Making you peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with more jelly than you could ever, in good conscience, put on for yourself. They're love-calories -- they totally don't count! Besides, even if your thighs have a little jiggle, at least there'll be someone gazing at them with urgent desire.

Sharing your childhood. Most people would rather be water-boarded than have to listen yet again to the song your dad used to sing you while you brushed your teeth. One person not only wants to hear it, but will sing it with you every night.

Remembering to order your burgers with no lettuce, double pickles, tomato on the side. Seriously, dude, you eat like a freak.

Not saying anything about the goatee. One blessed day you'll realize how truly heinous it looks all by yourself.

Eating your vegan palak paneer. Paneer means cheese. How can you make that vegan?!

Also, judging by this list, apparently love is at least 50% food. Sounds about right to me. Forget the grand cinematic gestures and epic monologues -- what is love to you guys?

Posted by TKOG of Not That Kind Of Girl.


Alison said...

Making sure that my feet are always tucked in.
Only freaking out a little when he found out that I victimized his car in a parking lot hit-and-run before we met.
Watching Glee even when we can't watch it together.

The Naked Redhead said...

Looking at one of my latest hare-brained projects and saying, "My girlfriend has the brain-damage," and then smiling like he LIKES the fact that I have brain-damage. That's love.

Anonymous said...

Any list work making is 50% food.

The Ex said...

Nice one, Alison. I was all about the tuck-in too, especially because TKOG was a pro at these two approaches to bedtime:
1. passing out with more covers underneath her than on top of her.
2. diving into bed shivering, repeating "it's so cold, it's so cold" while I wrapped her in every sheet, blanket, pillow, towel, stuffed animal, and boyfriend I could find.

Haha... the goatee... I can't believe I had it for that long. 1% of me misses it though. It was fun to have!

That Kind Of Girl said...

Yeah, I probably should have slept with pajamas on, in retrospect. Although you'll be happy to know that every single night in Boston I still jump into bed, starkers, then chatter my teeth melodramatically and tell the stuffed animals I'm cold for at least ten minutes before bed. To combat this, I've started sleeping under the covers, though, at least.

Esti said...

I adore the phrase "gazing at [your thighs] with urgent desire" in a comment about jelly. So much.

I know someone loves me when he's an engineer/physicist/generally sane person who will maintain eye contact and attention when I start an inarticulate rave about some creepy play about rural Ireland or three words in a Wallace Stevens poem.

Also when he gets really excited and raves inarticulately about bamboo bikes or binary star systems. When you're not sure of someone, you tend to explain more carefully.

Anonymous said...

Holding my hand while falling asleep. I want my space while sleeping, but a hand hold means, "I'm happy to be sleeping next to you."

Anonymous said...

It sounds like love is 50% food and 50% snoogling, which I'm totally down with. This is a great idea for a list, and I've got two examples under each of the aforementioned subdivisions. Huzzah!
Love is cooking together and modifying the recipe to my picky tastes, even if that means cooking chicken in one skillet and fish in another.
Love is also when you've moved to separate sides of the bed and you feel a little foot searching for yours under the covers in the middle of the night. Mmmmm, love is good stuff.

NoviceWorldTraveler said...

NTKOG, I'm a huge fan of your blog and your writing in general and this post was as satisfying as anything I've read on your blog. "sometimes you just need your fellow old man muppet." = pure gold.

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