Threesome with Smoot and Hawley: "Thank you, gentlemen! That was quite ... taxing." Also, my pillow talk would consist exclusively of asking Smoot why he didn't just get someone else to sign the dang tax act. Your name is patently ludicrous, sir! A point you will come to realize as I pant it for the next twenty minutes to half an hour!
Immanuel Kant: "Sir, you have officially fulfilled your categorical imperative -- to be sexy!" To which he would respond: "I(,) Kant(,) complain about your performance," but because of the syntactical ambiguity, I wouldn't know whether to be flattered or insulted. Thanks for nothing, you Kant!
Nikolai Tesla: "They said you were working on a directed-energy weapon, but this is absurd!" Then, just to toy with his emotions, I'd totally play him with a reference to an electric night with Edison.
Beethoven: "You were just ... Rode to Joy? That's a whole lotta sonata? Wow, you really flipped my Ludwig?" Is it -- is it able-ist that I'm not bringing my A-game 'cause dude wouldn't be able to hear it anyway?
What historical figures would you bring back from the dead to do back to death?! And was Kant really critiquing my performance? Man, I hope not, 'cause if he tells Sartre, he'll totally blow my chance at a sexistential tryst.
Posted by TKOG from Not That Kind Of Girl.
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