Embarrassing Early-Aughts Hiphop/R&B Songs I Physically Cannot Stop Myself From Listening To On Repeat
Truth be told, I've never been one for hiphop and R&B music. Back in the early 2000s (my high school and underclassmen college days), I listened to nothing but showtunes; now, it's rare for my iPod to blast anything other than twee indie pop. Apparently my musical strategy is to isolate the sector of the male population currently wearing the tightest pants and steal their playlists.
But for the past few weeks, I've been craving some vintage saggy-pants music. Current obsessions:
"Pimp Juice," by Nelly: My favorite part? When he repeatedly demands: "you wanna put your feet on my rug, don'tcha?You really wanna put your feet on my rug, don'tcha?" Um, if I didn't before, I sure do now. Power of suggestion, baby.
"What's Your Fantasy?" by Ludacris: This song is so sublimely dirty it makes me blush when I listen to it on my headphones at work. Although, for the record, after a fourteen-hour day, I'm too tired to "move from the bed down to the down to the to the flo'." Can't we just cuddle?
"Ignition (Remix)" by R. Kelly: I'm going to go ahead and call this the single most perfect song I've ever heard. I especially love the way R. Kelly lisps when he sings, "I'm like tho what I'm drunk." Back in the day, my Epic High-School Crush had a similar lisp, and I used to get vommingly giddy whenever he sang this song at parties.
"No Diggity," by Blackstreet: Technically mid-'90s, but an enduring classic for any generation. Literally every line of this song has been featured in one of my away messages over the years.
"Hey Ya," Outkast: Many remember this song (which was the song the summer I graduated high school) for its infectuous beat and fun lyrics. Fewer hail it for its pro-abstinence rhetoric: "Rhank god for mom and dad / for sticking two together / 'cause we don't know hooowww." Guys! I think this song just admitted it's too dumb to know how to have sex! But I love it anyway.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go break into Nelly's mansion and put my feet on his rug. Unless that's some kind of early-2000's sexytimes slang that I'm not aware of. In which case, uh, maybe still doin' it anyway.
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