Embarrassing Early-Aughts Hiphop/R&B Songs I Physically Cannot Stop Myself From Listening To On Repeat

Truth be told, I've never been one for hiphop and R&B music. Back in the early 2000s (my high school and underclassmen college days), I listened to nothing but showtunes; now, it's rare for my iPod to blast anything other than twee indie pop. Apparently my musical strategy is to isolate the sector of the male population currently wearing the tightest pants and steal their playlists.

But for the past few weeks, I've been craving some vintage saggy-pants music. Current obsessions:

"Pimp Juice," by Nelly: My favorite part? When he repeatedly demands: "you wanna put your feet on my rug, don'tcha?You really wanna put your feet on my rug, don'tcha?" Um, if I didn't before, I sure do now. Power of suggestion, baby.

"What's Your Fantasy?" by Ludacris: This song is so sublimely dirty it makes me blush when I listen to it on my headphones at work. Although, for the record, after a fourteen-hour day, I'm too tired to "move from the bed down to the down to the to the flo'." Can't we just cuddle?

"Ignition (Remix)" by R. Kelly: I'm going to go ahead and call this the single most perfect song I've ever heard. I especially love the way R. Kelly lisps when he sings, "I'm like tho what I'm drunk." Back in the day, my Epic High-School Crush had a similar lisp, and I used to get vommingly giddy whenever he sang this song at parties.

"No Diggity," by Blackstreet: Technically mid-'90s, but an enduring classic for any generation. Literally every line of this song has been featured in one of my away messages over the years.

"Hey Ya," Outkast: Many remember this song (which was the song the summer I graduated high school) for its infectuous beat and fun lyrics. Fewer hail it for its pro-abstinence rhetoric: "Rhank god for mom and dad / for sticking two together / 'cause we don't know hooowww." Guys! I think this song just admitted it's too dumb to know how to have sex! But I love it anyway.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go break into Nelly's mansion and put my feet on his rug. Unless that's some kind of early-2000's sexytimes slang that I'm not aware of. In which case, uh, maybe still doin' it anyway.


magnolia said...

hahaha - no diggity. yes. yes, yes, a thousand times yes.

now, i'd like to see the ALL mid-90s list. that's my high-school sweet spot...

Anonymous said...

I love love love that song. I know the words and I'm not ashamed to admit that I used to sing them with my girlfriends while driving.

Roisin Muldoon said...

I can't get enough of Ignition Remix and I think you're right - it is perfect! I also really like 'Same Girl' by R Kelly and Usher. However, if you haven't heard the song I URGE you to watch the video. It's perfection.

Marie said...

Grillz by Nelly - just ridiculous and fun
Candyshop by 50 Cent - again, so dirty and fun. This comes on at work and I know I should skip it, but I just turn the volume down instead.

Mackenzie said...

Oh man, totally right about R.Kelly's lisp. Just too precious not to listen. And it only gets better when you watch Dave Chappelle's "Piss on you", which is just an all-around crowd pleaser, hahaha

I for one, am a fan of Boyz II Men, as that is the song my mom and I serenaded to each other on the way to High School. Yeah, I wish I was joking. Not really. :)

Chelsea said...

"Apparently my musical strategy is to isolate the sector of the male population currently wearing the tightest pants and steal their playlists"

You make me smile...

I always have a random quote on the save screen of my phone that makes me laugh and congratulations my dear with the above quote you now rank up there with the likes of The Mighty Boosh, Ross Noble & Kelso form both scrubs & that 70's show in my save screen hall of fame.

By the way my shameful hip hop R n' B love at the moment is Salt n' Pepa's Push It :)

KatieC said...

Ignition Remix rules! I was just listening to it while housecleaning and it even made me like cleaning! And the Step in the Name of Love Remix? *swoon*

PS. I don't think Hey Ya means what you think it means:
My baby don't mess around
Because she loves me so
And this I know for sure
But does she really wanna
But can't stand to see me
Walk out the door
Don't try to fight the feeling
Because the thought alone is killing me right now
Thank god for mom and dad
For sticking two together
'Cause we don't know how.

It's saying that people don't stick through the bad times now like they did back in Mom and Dad's day. The whole song is questioning whether love can last:

If what they say is 'nothing is forever,' then what makes love the exception?

That song IS deeper than people give it credit for - its downfall is its own catchy beat! No time to think about the lyrics when you're shakin' it like a Polaroid picture!

Danielle said...

I'm an incredibly shy person (who apparently fools people into thinking I'm confident) but Hey Ya has always been my trigger for insane dancing in public minus the caring what people think. It has possibly saved my (social) life on several occasions.

Anonymous said...

Hey Ya - Yes! Also Roses by Outkast and Hot in Herre by Nelly

Los Schoenys said...

"Whips and chains. Handcuffs! Smack a little booty up with my belt!"

But also, "Back that Ass Up" by Juvenile. You can't deny the ridiculousness of that song!

Anastasia said...

I feel the exact same way, except I haven't hear the Nelly song. It sounds like a real gem though.

enterrement vie de garçon said...

I love
Hey ya

No diggity

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