See also: how to bust your budget and give your dear mama a heart attack at the same time. Frankly, I don’t understand half of the things modern brides spend their hard-earned $$$ on. Traditions with which I like to imagine I’d dispense at my own (very hypothetical) wedding:
Bridal Shoes: Why drop hundreds of dollars on shoes you might only wear once? I’m getting married in my trusty men’s size-medium Rainbows. (Oh stop clutching your heart, mom. I’ll slip on a throwaway pair of Payless pumps for the photos you’re in.)
Band or DJ. Look, guys, I don’t dance. Ergo, there will be no (formal) dancing at my wedding. iPod playlist of ambient music for the win. And maybe later, when everyone’s drunk, some enterprising young guest will pump the volume and get a little impromptu dance-off started.
Flowers: What better way to commemorate the immortal union of two loving souls than to commit ruthless and expensive genocide on a few hundred specimens of local flora? Oh wait. My wedding party’s going to be strolling down that aisle bearing bouquet and boutonniere arrangements of origami calla lilies folded from the pages of their favorite books.
Non-Edible Wedding Favors: I love you, dude, but you’re just giving us something to feel guilty when we throw away a few years later.
With all the money I save: the most earth-shattering cake and food ever. Most brides want guests to, as they leave, exclaim: “She looked so beautiful!” Screw that. I want ‘em to cry, “Who the frig catered that?!” What are or were your wedding corner-cuts and priorities?
Posted by TKOG from Not That Kind Of Girl.
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