Ways to Get Me to Delete You Right in the Face

OK, so the title was a little harsh, but as I've been doing some research on the old Interwebz, I've run into some website/blog trends that drive me batty.  Here are a few of my webby pet peeves (and what I say to myself when I see them):

1.  Dude, Your Sh*t is Everywhere--Some websites give me an aneurysm as soon as I land on the page.  Oh my...all the ads with your free this and contact me that.  Oh!  And don't forget the abnormally large picture of your face!  DELETED.

2.  Dude, I Can't Effing Find Your Subscription Button--After looking at almost 100 different sites today, I quickly learned that each site gets about three seconds of my time to have a really visible SUBSCRIBE button.  And no, I do NOT want to subscribe via e-mail.  I love my Google Reader and I'm trying to find a loophole in the constitution to marry it.  WHY would I want something through e-mail?  Hm?  HM?  That would be CHEATING on my fiance.  So please, that little orange stripey button?  I need to see it.  Immediately.  Thanks.

3.  Dude, You Haven't Posted in Like, Three Years--Yeah, I know people can get side tracked and stuff, and blogs get abandoned, but seriously...why are you still pimping that thing on other sites, like recently??  That's like going to Vegas and trying to get people to sleep with your grandmother.  It's both wrong and gross.  Stop it.

What are your interwebz pet peeves?

Posted by The Naked Redhead


Chrissy said...

the drama queens who post every little whine...
the attention whores, oops does that fall under drama queens?
the ones who post gossip and contradict what is said in private and post the friggin' lie...

That Kind Of Girl said...

"That's like going to Vegas and trying to get people to sleep with your grandmother."

Perfect comparison. Perfect.

I delete people for: aggressively bad spelling and grammar; every post apologizing with not posting more often; excessive cat pictures or (god forbid!) lolcat speak; talking about how funny they are or what great writers they are.

Well, sometimes I keep the lattermost around just for schadenfreude. There's one guy on my Twitter feed who updates at least twice a day about what a boss writer he is and how cheated he feels that the universe hasn't stepped up and offered him a book deal. How can you not watch that train wreck?!

Herself said...

Grrr... I agree with all of the above. The worst for me is the spelling and grammar thing. It makes me want to light myself on fire.

And as for people not posting frequently and then promoting it all over the place? I'm reaching for the matches as I type.

Peace x

Andrea said...

Re: subscription buttons, most browsers show an orange stripey subscription icon in the address bar. Just click that to add to Google Reader, no button is required on the page itself. I use it to subscribe to anything I like, even LiveJournals or Tumblr pages get dragged into my Google Reader this way.

Anyway, not posting in ages isn't cool. I was recently at an event where a contest judge was much praised for being the author of such-and-such blog. I checked the blog and she hadn't updated since mid-2008. What the heck?

Georgia said...

I had no idea that the "subscribe" thing was a big deal! Just moved mine up to the top. Thanks for the tip.

Once someone told me, back when I first started blogging, that the reason he stopped following my blog was because the font was too small and there weren't enough paragraph breaks, which made it too difficult to read. I took his advice and now I can't read anyone's blog who doesn't do the same.

#1Nana said...

I'm with Georgia. I don't read the blogs with small type on dark backgrounds.

I hate, Hate, HATE the blogs that play background music. The songs are distracting and sometimes if I dislike the song it doesn't matter how good the writing is, I'll close out rather than listen to some god awful country song about love in a trailer park.

Lastly, isn't it all about good writing? I want a blog that makes me think, or laugh, or cry...just write well and I'll follow.

Alison said...

I just checked to make sure I wasn't guilty of any of the above. I hope not! And please--tell me if I am!

I get really frustrated with blogs that update five or six times a day. They're messing up my feed! Or that have the teeny type that strains my old eyes!

And let me just say--I appreciate a blank line between paragraphs. It makes it easier to read, and I feel less hopeless about ever finishing the post.

The Naked Redhead said...

@Andrea--You're a friggin' genius and now I feel sheepish about my Subscription Button rant. :) Thanks for the tip!

Also, to all who mentioned the music that plays when the website loads. Yeah. Blarg. Photography studios in particular seem to think this is the coolest trick ever.

And, @Georgia...you have the best type and font. I've always noticed how easy your stuff is to read! :)

Anonymous said...

How about the folks that keep saying interwebs and internets? Amusing, at best, once. A few years ago.

The Naked Redhead said...

I could see how that would be annoying, though not quite so annoying at snarky anonymous jabs on the internet...s.

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