Even in college, I was never The Drinking Type. And I'm definitely not a Girls Gone Wild type. I'm sadly unversed in all things liquor, so when I do have a drink, things tend to go downhill fast.
Poor drink knowledge. For an adult coming dangerously near to 30, I know embarrasingly few drinks. Apparently there are hundreds of beers out there, but my expertise is limited to about half of what they sell in the grocery store. And cocktails? Cosmopolitans, Long Island Iced Teas, Mimosas, Cranberry and Vodkas, Crown and Ginger....aaaaaand, I'm tapped out. Oh! I once ordered a Mai Tai because it's the first thing that popped into my head, and the bartender served it to me in an iced tea glass, and I stumbled out giggling 20 minutes later.
Recessive Irish genes. Although I'm fully half Irish—like, my Mom has an accent Irish—they only way I can hold my liquor is, well, in a glass. A friend brought the ingredients for Irish Car Bombs to a St. Paddy's Bash we hosted a couple years ago. After two, the cartilidge in my knees liquified and the next thing I remember it was March 18.
Unfortunate Drunk Face. Last year I attended a friend's lingerie shower, which was held in a really lovely downtown art gallery. In addition to a chocolate fountain and more dessert than we could eat, there was an open bar, featuring a signature pineapple vodka that turned out to be vodka that once sat in the vicinity of a pineapple. I had to be held up for the group photo. Luckily, I was already smiling. Er, laughing. Because apparently when I have too much to drink, the world is a very funny place.
Please tell me I'm not alone in being the world's worst drinking buddy. Any confessions to share?
Posted by Erin of The Fierce Beagle
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