Completely Insignificant Skills I'm Weirdly Good At

Dude, millions of people can run marathons, pick rocketing stocks and write best-seller novels. But how many of those dudes can name all the US presidents in under 45 seconds? Oh, most of them? REGARDLESS. Here are a few more completely useless skills I'm always mildly surprised to remember I have.

Using chopsticks like an ace. This is really only impressive because my hands are big ol' clumsy bearpaws. I'd trade this one in immediately for hands that don't force glovemakers to "see what we have in the back room."

Predicting trends way too far in advance. A year and a half ago, everyone thought I was crazy for investing in structured hats, feather fascinators and fluorescent nail polish. Heads up? Once the economy turns back around, fringe will be back in a big way.

Sticking people with permanent nicknames. Too bad I can't seem to give myself one I like. No matter how often I ask my friends to call me "Ol' Rough and Ready" or "Napoleon of the Stump," for some reason, they never catch on.

Shooting a gun. Like Elvis Costello, my aim is true. Unlike Elvis Costello, I'm not secretly a jewel thief.

Fixing jams in copiers. Ohhh, that's why I'm a secretary.

These may never get me on America's Got Talent, but hey, at least next time I'm playing Truth or Dare, I won't have to resort to the ol' Molly Ringwald lipstick-in-cleave trick. What are you surprisingly good at, loves?

Posted by TKOG from Not That Kind of Girl.


KittenMittens said...

hahaha, awesome. My skill is being able to untangle any knot. I'm been knotting friendship bracelets since I was 10 so I've had years of practice!

The Naked Redhead said...

I'm really good at untangling knots, too! And actually, I enjoy untangling particularly sticky ones.

Herself said...

My odd skill is probably being able to recall the most random pieces of information in the universe. I'll always know the approximate population of a country. And I'll always know how long to cook a chicken for. I don't know how or why I can remember insignificant crap - I just can.

I am also highly skilled at being spectacularly shit at math.

magnolia said...

that copier skill is amazingly useful. i was the HERO in my last office because of a random temp job i had right out of college working in a high-volume legal reproduction shop. i learned how to do basic maintenance on about seven different kinds of copiers. so instead of calling the facilities guys and losing out on an hour of productivity, i'd just open up the copier and clear the jam. people were AMAZED.

naomi said...

Snorting. Really loudly. Like, scary loudly.

HM said...

At the moment, I'm good at not sleeping. I'm a whiz at insomnia!

Also, 3 of my very favorite necklaces are entering week 4 of being in one huge ol' knot. Would you like to untangle it for me? Please and thank you! :)

KittenMittens said...

Ohhh man if I was right there, I'd have those untangled like, NOW! lol

Vee said...

I'm surprisingly good at being bad at almost everything. =)

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