Oh, you think I'm being a tad extreme? Funny. I think capital punishment is a bit of a light touch for the following jerkwad bus behaviors:
Swiveling your legs into the aisle instead of getting out properly to let me into the window seat. Because, yes, by a perfect coincidence, my body is exactly six inches wide, so of course I'm in no way self-conscious about scrubbing your entire torso with the back of my skirt while I wriggle between the seats.
Taking up a handicapped spot then spending the ride texting frantically so you don't have to catch eyes with standing passengers who actually need those seats. Who're you texting, kiddo? Your probation officer?
Selecting a new ringtone. I'm super glad you popped for the 32gig iPhone. And have listened to every single one of your three thousand songs out loud. Twice.
Making loud, passive-aggressive comments when it takes the bus driver several minutes to help a passenger with a wheelchair on and off the bus. Seriously, dude?! If the slight hold-up bothers you that much, why don't you just get off and walk? At least you have the option.
Back-of-bus denial. Yeah, nobody likes being forced to stand in the aisle on a crowded morning bus, but for some people, apparently making the two steps up to the back of the bus is a whole new level of torment. This generally results in the front half of the bus being packed like a Green Day mosh pit circa 1995. And the back of the bus as empty as ... well, a Green Day mosh pit circa 2010.
Sticking a wet umbrella on the seat next to you to discourage potential seatmates. I -- I just don't like you, dude.
Then again, maybe it's best we keep these people on buses. Goodness only knows what havoc they'd wreak on the freeway. What jerkwad communter behavior makes you want to call a cab?
Posted by TKOG of Not That Kind Of Girl.
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