Easy Ways to Survive Thanksgiving


 Holidays are fraught with meaning and memory.  And angst and bitter resentment.  Thanksgiving is particularly hard because there aren't gifts to unwrap or eggs to hunt.  If you are stuck in a group of relatives you find less than palpable, here are some tried and true ways to survive:

Look at that pass! Start talking sports. It's an easy way to get most of the men, at least, to talk about something innocuous.  Also, turn your attention to the Lion's game. Revel in the fact that they and their fans are way more miserable than you.

Help in the kitchen.  If you don't [or aren't allowed to] cook, set the table, wash dishes, take out the trash.  Stay busy. It'll keep you out of the line of fire.

Entertain the kids.  Even if you hate children, their company is far more preferable to listening to your racist uncle or fending off questions from your over-intrusive aunt.  Bring a deck of cards and teach them Go Fish or Texas Hold 'Em. 

Booze/Xanax.  I am not a proponent of self-medication, but . . .

What are your tried and true methods to survive Thanksgiving?

7 comments:

Melanie's Randomness said...

Helping out in the kitchen & claiming i'll be tired from travelling. =) Oh yeah I'll survive by not being a turkey!! hehe. =)

Melanie's Randomness

unmitigated me said...

Going out of town to see the relatives you really like!

Shelley Malone said...

I like to embrace the train-crash-ness of the family holidays, then every time something particularly horrific happens, I retreat to the bathroom to text my sister all about it.

eg. OMG WE'VE ONLY BEEN HERE 15 MINUTES AND X AND Y ALREADY GOT IN A SCREAMING MATCH IN THE GARAGE!!

magnolia said...

oh, this year's gonna be a SHOW. me, boyfriend, our oldest mutual friend, my parents. ok, that'd be enough. add in boyfriend's roommate, and roommate's sister. and as if that weren't too much, add in OTHER roommate... and his ENTIRE FAMILY. 25 people, 7 of whom are children, one of those being a baby.

this is going to be scary. i plan on drinking wine, talking exclusively to my family and drowning my sorrows in the saints game.

Megan (Best of Fates) said...

Thankfully my family doesn't celebrate Thanksgiving, so my survival is all but guaranteed!

The Chicken's Consigliere said...

These are excellent coping strategies. I'd like to add one more. Might I suggest the "Total Skip". This method guarantees peace and serenity, although it may involve strangers seeing that very well-hidden tattoo you're sporting, or a rather rough pat down by a p.o.'d TSA agent, but hey, maybe you'd even enjoy that if the alternative is your rascist uncle.

ChristaLouWho said...

Wow, you have obviously somehow been present at one of my family's gatherings. Racist uncle: check. Booze: check. Children: check - and this year they were equipped with full-length foam swords. Hooray.

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