The other day I wrote a blog post about all the things my two-year-old does that I'd do in a heartbeat if I could get away with it. Here are the highlights:
- When I'm done with things, instead of putting them away, I'm going to start throwing them. Wherever, whenever. Dirty soup spoon? Toss it at the fireplace! Barnes & Noble nook? Fire it at the bed pillows! Empty cup? Throw it over my shoulder!
- If ever we need to go anywhere in a timely fashion, I'll have a grand time faffing around, and I might even further forestall our departure by needing to go poop.
- I'm also going to start demanding unexpected and incomprehensible things of others. "Noah, will you open this bag of chips for me? No, not over there! I want you to stand on the hearth and open the bag, then pour the chips into my favorite bowl, but don't do the pouring in the kitchen, go get the bowl and bring it back to the hearth. Then I want you to sit and watch me eat the chips. Thanks!"
- If I've done something to offend someone else, feigned ignorance is the best policy. Other Person: "Erin, did you just spill that vase of 4,000 decorative marbles?" Me: "What? Nothing."
- Farting is never off-limits, and if you ask for a kiss, I might give you one, but I might lean in and burp in your face instead. For spontaneity is the spice of life.
What would you do if you were two?
Posted by Erin of The Fierce Beagle
Friday, December 10, 2010
- fun times
- guest post
- wise words