Quotes I Thought Were From the Bible 'til an Embarrassing Age

My earliest exposure to religion was attending a Catholic school from first through third grade. As a hyper and dreamy youth, stories like Jesus raising Lazarus and the stations of the cross seemed epic, surreal, Hollywood-esque. Turns out a little too Hollywood-esque. Here are a few phrases that I thought came from the Bible 'til at least my early teens.

"Do not walk in front of me; I may not follow. Do not walk behind me; I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend." Though in my defense, the phrase is often found in the bumper sticker rack next to Jesus Fish.

"When legend becomes fact, print the legend." Because the Bible is always giving tips on how to run your old-timey saloon newspaper.

"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer." Some would say The Godfather is its own kind of Bible.

"Do or do not, there is no try." What do you mean there's no Book of Yoda?!

"You've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?" Kidding, kidding. Not even I'm that dumb. This quote's actually from the Declaration of Independence.

Any mortifying quote misattributions to share? It's okay, guys. This is a safe space.

Posted by TKOG from Not That Kind of Girl.


Suniverse said...

I love this. I'm always wondering if something came from Shakespeare or just the back of the cereal box. Glad I'm not alone.

Mike said...

You're not going to tell me that "Life is like a box of chocolates" isn't from the bible, are you?

Kate said...

Definitely thought Romeo & Juliet was a bible story when I was a child.

magnolia said...

i have the opposite problem - i roll in a crew full of atheists, and yet i'm southern, so i've been exposed to bible quotes my whole life. when i say things like "if there's a balm in gilead," i then have to explain that. 'course, i also had to explain "blessed be the peacemakers," so it's not a particularly biblically-literate crowd...

nikki said...

Raised by an atheist father and a skeptically Christian mother, I had virtually no religious upbringing. So my bible knowledge comes largely from Jeopardy and being married to a man who went to a Baptist High School. You could tell me anything's a quote from the bible and I'd pretty much believe you. After I found out that Leviticus really does condone slavery, there's nothing I won't believe that's in there.

Also, I will always point out the grammatical incorrectness of the phrase "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." Get it right, bible-writers.

That Kind Of Girl said...

@nikki: I've heard it quoted as "He that has no sin among you, let him cast the first stone," which has neater pronouns, but MAN does the who/that swap clang in my ears and peel back my skin. Ugh. It actually physically upsets me.

Sadako said...

I *wish* "Keep your friends close..." was in the Bible! Great post, btw.

gem said...

Love this. Also love that I knew the what the legend quote was actually from. (Okay, I had to look it up, but I could picture the scene in my head perfectly.)

Anonymous said...

'Keep your friends close'... is even from the Godfather, it's by chinese philosopher Sun Tzu (who wrote The Art of War)

naomi said...

This isn't a misattribution, but it's vaguely related to Christianity and is a pretty solid misquote: "In the meadow we can build a snowman / and pretend that he is sparse and brown!"

Anonymous said...

This is amazing. One of the greatest radio contests I ever heard while driving was called "Creed or Bible Verse?" I didn't get one answer right.

V. Furnas said...

I am new here and am in love your blogname...being a fellow list addict!

This post cracked me up! I was so with you on the "Do or Don't there is no try." Yoda...who would have thought it.

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