No need for an explanation. Let's get started, shall we?

1. Insecurity is a disease--We all have our little insecurities...our hang-ups, our neuroses, our things we feel like we just can't get past. Insecurity, however, prevents us from getting the jobs we want, the love we want, the sex we want, the life we want. Insecurity (which, in reality, is just your Inner Critic) will keep a powerful and amazing individual weak and small. I've seen it happen to others, and I know it's happened to me. Insecurity causes people to self-protect, sometimes in somewhat harmless ways (e.g. self-deprecating humor) but sometimes in harmful ways, too (e.g. malicious gossip, withdrawal, abuse). Beware of insecurity in yourself and others.
2. Everyone appreciates small kindnesses. Everyone.--Throw in a word of (genuine) praise into your latest e-mail, hold the door, pick up the pen that stranger dropped. Kindness paves in-roads to connection. And connection, ultimately, makes us matter.
3.  If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck...it's a duck--Trust your instincts. If a person says one thing, but consistently does another, well...it's most likely that the actions are truer than the words. Quack, quack.
4.  Passive-aggression is still aggression--Passive-aggression might be clothed in the sweetness of a backhanded compliment, a veiled threat, or suggested situation, but it's still aggression. Being stabbed with a velvet handled knife is still, er, stabbery. Do not engage.

5.  People will always surprise you--We already know that people will surprise us with the depth of their badness (one only needs to check the news every so often for confirmation of this fact) but in my thirty-some years, I've learned to love when people surprise me with the depths of their kindness, charitableness, forgiveness, and generosity. I love those moments of surprise. Love them.

What have you learned about people?
Posted by The Naked Redhead

Remember that stand-up comic character on SNL whose punchline was: "Don't get me started. Don't EVEN get me started"? Well, if you're ever inviting me to a dinner party, here's a handy primer of topics to blacklist, lest the table erupt in a volley of "You shouldn't have gotten her started. You shouldn't have EVEN gotten her started."

Overuse of the word "nerd": So let me get this straight -- I suffered years of psychologically abusive bullying as a kid, and now everyone wants to be a nerd? Hey y'all. Just because you like to knit or you've read the Harry Potter books five times doesn't mean you're a nerd. Talk to me when you've hosted your first couples-only LAN party.

Claiming that waitresses should earn tips instead of expecting them: Look, if you can't afford 18% added to the bill, then you can't afford the meal. Period. If they go above and beyond, feel free to tip more, but unless your waitstaff ruins your life or your pants, they still need that 15% to pay their rent. Express your displeasure with a note to their manager.

People leaving their trash in movie theatres after the show: Why is this the cultural norm? Come on, dudes. Which is easier: one hundred people each picking up one thing? Or a pimply-faced teenager whose life is already hard enough being given twenty minutes to round up a metric ton of melted Milk Duds?

Twenty-somethings who want to write memoirs: Congratulations. Literature is becoming reality television, and you want to be Snooki.

Jon Stewart's stint as an Oscars host: What do all the great hosts have in common? Say it with me now: stand-up pedigree. Jon Stewart's a hilarious guy, but he is in essence a television writer; after a decade of only performing to synchophantic Daily Show fanatics, he just didn't have the experience to handle it when jokes bombed. I -- I can't even keep talking about this. It makes me too angry.

Oh look, I got started anyway. What topics do you have to be physically restrained from going on about?

Posted by TKOG from Not That Kind of Girl.

 No, I'm not talking about skiing or skating or ice fishing [what the ?? who does that?].  I like my winter activities to take place in a comfortable climate.  This means indoors, where the temperature will not descend into the single or NEGATIVE digits.  What shall we do indoors?


Watch t.v.  There are a ton of new episodes of your favorite shows coming out this month.  Why not do yourself a favor and instead of spending time digging your car out from under a ridiculous number of inches of snow to go to a movie theater that is just chock full of annoying people breathing their disgusting germs all over you, just sit back with a bowl of popcorn and enjoy mindless entertainment.  There is a far less risk of a heart attack watching t.v. than there is shoveling snow.  Just ask the CDC.

Read.  Nothing weighty or intelligent.  I am a firm believer that the cold winter months are depressing enough without having to wade through someone else's misery.  Leave that for the fall and spring, when it's still nice enough to go outside and enjoy life after reading about the horrors that people visit upon each other.  I'm talking about the literary equivalent of a soap opera.  It'll do you good.

Eat.  The best part of winter? SOUPS.  Yummy, yummy, delicious soups.  Soups that are thick and hearty and if you're feeling up to it, soups you can make!  It's like crafting or scrapbooking, except instead of a pile of pictures nobody wants to look at, you've got a big bowl of creamy goodness that's going to warm you inside and out.

What do you like to do in the winter? 

by Suniverse

I love myself.  I do.  And when I have been having a tough week, I like to take care of myself.  Because if I don't, who will?  These are a few of my favorite things to do for myself.  Or have someone do for me:

A Massage.  I am in general not a fan of having strange people touch me, BUT.  I love getting a massage. I love having a nice, quiet space to just be.  I love having someone expertly press on that ridiculous knot in my back that I swear that evil work chair has given me.  I love that I don't have to do ANYTHING except turn over.  I even love the plinky relaxation music, which normally would have me punching the scan button on my radio.

Doing My Nails.  Plain nails are a sign that I've been neglecting myself.  I love vibrant nails.  There are so many options for color and even texture [matte nail polish, glitter nail polish, suede nail polish, good old glossy nail polish] that I'm almost stymied by my choices.  But every Sunday night, I sit down and watch something vapid and do my nails.  And then I'm stuck there until they dry - unable to do the dishes or pick up laundry.  Damn.  I am NOT a fan of someone else doing my nails, because I can't stand the smell of that stuff, and if I want someone to touch me for that long, I'd rather be having a massage.

Reading a Book.  I love books.  LOVE them.  And my biggest treat is getting a new book.  It doesn't have to be something erudite or educational or uplifting.  It can be trashy and silly.  But a new book always puts me in a great mood.  Plus, I don't have to worry that someone borrowed the book from the library and read it on the toilet.  Gross.

Those are the things that I do to treat myself.  What do you do?

Posted by Suniverse.

 There are two times of the year that I crave the new -  more than I usually do at other times of the year.  One is the New Year, because duh.  The other is when school starts in September.  I think this may be because I am a sucker for school supplies, but also because there is that possibility of becoming what you want, taking a new direction.  I'm done with school [way done], but I still get kind of daydreamy about starting a new career. Here's what I'd be if I had the option:

Architect.  I am no mathematical or spatial genius [I continue to bump into walls and doorways that have existed in their present places ALL MY LIFE], but I love the idea of creating a space.  Particularly when I am faced with the ridiculous lack of closets and odd floorplans in real life homes.

Meteorologist.  Growing up, I had no idea this was a real thing, but if only I had!  I love the weather.  Love it.  I could watch The Weather Channel for HOURS and I know which weather person on which local channel will give me the straight dope on what's coming our way.  To be part of that magic?  I want in.


Dictator.  Benevolent, to be sure, but I would be awesome with unlimited power.  Trains would run on time.  Trash would be picked up.  I'd have a palace.  Sure, there would be uprisings and intrigue and probable assassination, but I think it might be worth the trade off of having EVERYONE and EVERYTHING at my beck and call.

Thinking of a new career?  Which one?

Posted by Suniverse.

Sadako is a twenty-something New York City denizen. She enjoys children and YA lit, making fun of bad movies, and blogging at Dibbly Fresh.

You guys know about Manic Pixie Dream Girls, right? The quirky, lovable, free spirits who exist to inspire bourgeois stuffed shirts or neurotic layabouts, while not entertaining an inner life beyond what color they'll next dye their bangs.

I myself could never be a MPDG, what with the whole not being fictional and having a life of my own. But even if I were fictional, there are a few things keeping me from MPDG status.

Flowers. The MPDG is the kind of whimsical, fun loving girl who will pick a flower and put it behind her hair, just 'cause. I'm the kind of neurotic, uptight person who will look at said flower, wonder if it has an earwig in it and if at the top of today's menu is eardrum surprise.

Hair. The requisite hairdo for a MPDG is long hair with bangs. Though the average MPDG probably trims her own bangs and still manages to look fly, somehow, I know I'd wind up looking less whimsical and more like an anorexic sheepdog.

Hoodies. I've got a serious lack of hoodies. Per Clementine in Eternal Sunshine and Sam in Garden State, you need one if you want to be an MPDG: nothing says I've whimsical but still hot enough to wear something that disguises my feminine shape like a hoodie.

Garish color sense. MPDGs don't need to be aware of color wheels. They make their own color wheels! But alas, my Project Runway and What Not to Wear-a-thons have made me wary of even pairing black eyeliner with anything brighter than peach lipgloss.

Promiscuity. You've also got to be willing to sleep with people in order to get them to like you (see Clementine) or just be willing to make out with a guy by the copiers to make sure the moment doesn't get too dull (Summer). My Adrian Monk esque fear of strangers precludes this, naturally.

Why would you make a poor Manic Pixie Dream Girl?

For someone of my thorny disposition and proclivity for searing infatuation, I have surprisingly little break-up experience. Which is a shame, because if I had enough material to make a break-up movie, it would have a kickass soundtrack. Shall we?

Okay, I haven't actually broken up with a guy to watch Woody Allen movies but, fun fact, I did once start dating a guy with the intention of breaking up with him that way. Then spent the entire break-up blasting Postal Service. What're your favorite break-up tunes?

Posted by TKOG from Not That Kind of Girl.

I am something of a disease connoisseur. You may want to think of me as a hypochondriac, but I find that word distasteful. And upsetting. It sends me to my thermometer and Dr. Internet. At any rate, here is a list of some of the things I think I've had.

Great.  I'll probably get this, too.  Damn.

Bedbugs/Lice/Scabies. These are all itchy-making, disgusting, foul, verminy type things that people will tell me about ["Did you hear? Bedbugs from trying on clothing!"] and their stories immediately make me start itching and scratching and oh my god, now I have to boil my clothing. *Shudder*

Stroke.  I fear this, because who wants to suffer from a stroke?  No one, that's who.  I worried more about this before I learned the ways to determine if you've suffered from a stroke [Try and smile, lift your arms above your head and say a sentence.  Can you do this?  Yes? Congratulations! NO STROKE!], but I still find myself concerned when, say, my eye won't stop twitching.

West Nile Virus.  I actually asked my real doctor about this.  In my defense, I HAD been bitten by a number of mosquitoes. 


Liver disease.  I drank quite a bit in my early twenties.  More than my share; probably your share, too.  Of course, while I was drinking, I didn't think a thing of it.  Now? Well, at least the liver is self-regenerating, right?  Right?

Your turn - do you worry about your health?  Or do you really, really think about it a lot?

by Suniverse