I'm awful at new year's resolutions. There was the year I resolved to stop watching reality TV until the end of the writers' strike. The strike only lasted until February 8th -- by which point I'd cheated and watched, oh, maybe 200 hours of Top Model? After taking a searching and fearless inventory of my personal weaknesses, I've come to this conclusion: I'm awful at self-improvement. So this year I resolve to aim a little lower. Thus, some new year's resolutions you're sure as heck not going to see me making this year:

by Suniverse

Ah, money.  We all need it, and yet we never seem to have enough of it.  I know times are hard, and I'm budgeting as furiously as the next gal, HOWEVER, there are certain things that even during the Great Recession, I refuse to skimp on.  To wit:

Ketchup.  Sure, it's only a condiment, and one that has very few ingredients without the variety of, say, mustard, but there is a marked difference between the name brand deliciousness of Heinz and the downmarket wateryness of Big Bob's Choice Brand Catsup.

Nail polish.  I love me some OPI.  Not only because their colors have fun names, their brushes are super wide and the polish goes on smoothly, but also because they are formaldehyde and other nasty chemical-free.  Sure, a 99 cent bottle of funky colored polish would be fun and more budget friendly, but I've got zero interest in starting a Superfund Site on my nail bed.


Toilet paper.  If you are anything like me, and I'm sure you are or want to be, then you pee. A lot. And when I go to the bathroom, I use toilet paper, not a fancy bidet.  And because I am using toilet paper on my nether regions, I want that stuff to be SOFT.  The softest.  Ever.  Like angel wings or baby ducks.  So I buy uber-soft, thick and plush toilet paper.  The environment and my wallet be damned, my bajingo is not going to be subjected to single-ply!

Maxi pads/Tampons. And speaking of bajingos - there is no reason whatsoever to subject yours to inferior personal products.  None.

Well, friends, what do you splurge on?

Posted by The Naked Redhead

If you read my blog, you’ll know I wrote yesterday that my family isn’t big into Christmas, and it’s not something we celebrate much this time of year. I’m not trying to be a Grinch or whatever, that’s just kind of the way it is (honestly, we usually do some sort of celebration in January or February...so we celebrate, just not right ON Christmas). But just because I don’t put out cookies for Santa on Christmas Eve, it doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy some of the perks that come with the holiday season. For instance:

1. Christmas Ales and Drinks—I will drink ANY Christmas Ale. I will drink just about ANY Christmas-y type drink (‘cept Egg Nog, which is naaaasssttty). I love all the spices and flavors. Yum.

2. Sights, Scents and Sounds—Seriously? I could shove some nutmeg up my nose and die a happy woman. I love pretty lights. And of course, I do enjoy a little jazzy holiday music ‘round this time of year.

3. Good Sales and Deals—Now of course we all know the BEST deals come after January 1, but the deals on, well, STUFF this time of year are pretty fantastic. And since I don’t have to feel bad about buying for myself this time of year, I don’t. And I always get a pretty good bang for my buck.

4. Silly Movies—Why “Love Actually” is still watchable after the 15th time, I’ll never know. Same with “The Family Stone”, “The Grinch”, and of course, “Rudolph.”

5. Friends, Family and Giving—I do feel that most people are pretty good at checking in with the ones they love most this time of year. I love sitting with friends over some drinks, playing board games with my nieces and nephews, and even seeing people get together to give love to local charities.  I’m currently working on a kick-ass project with some of the coolest chicks in Columbus, OH, and all for charity (can’t wait to tell you all about it!). I don’t think it would have come together this fast any other time of year.

What about you? Why do you love the holiday season?

Love, TNR

by Suniverse

Every era has its boy bands. Those bubblegum boys who have the awesome dance moves and ability to sing at the same time, mostly on key.  Sure, they aren't the musical equivalent of, say, Sufjan Stevens [is he cool still?  Who is cool now?], but they are poppy and peppy. There is, however, a heirarchy. At the top?  New Kids on the Block.  NKOTB rules, other boy bands drool. Don't believe me?  Check it:


Catchy tunes.  From Step by Step to Hangin' Tough, NKTOB spit out some dope rhymes.  Or crooned some swinging tunes.  Or just sang some songs that I still probably know all the words to.  Unlike, say, 98 Degrees, which I believe was a boy band, but could not tell you anything about.

I have actually attended an NKOTB concert.  In my defense, my cousin and I took her two little kids.  Still. That immediately makes it far cooler than, say, Backstreet Boys.  And blah blah blah about Justin Timberlake bringing sexy back or singing about his dick in a box [and yes, I am a fan of both], those were things he did AFTER Backstreet Boys.  While he was with them?  I believe he had dance offs with Britney Spears.  I feel dumb just having typed that.

Two Words:  Donnie Walberg.  Two more?  MARKY MARK.  Who would be nowhere without his brother hitting it big with NKOTB. Mmmm . . . Marky Mark.  What are you putting up?  Nick Lachey?  Please.

O.k., confess - who are you a fan of?

1. When I'm done with things, instead of putting them away, I'm going to start throwing them. Wherever, whenever. Dirty soup spoon? Toss it at the fireplace! Barnes & Noble nook? Fire it at the bed pillows! Empty cup? Throw it over my shoulder!
2. If ever we need to go anywhere in a timely fashion, I'll have a grand time faffing around, and I might even further forestall our departure by needing to go poop.
3. I'm also going to start demanding unexpected and incomprehensible things of others. "Noah, will you open this bag of chips for me? No, not over there! I want you to stand on the hearth and open the bag, then pour the chips into my favorite bowl, but don't do the pouring in the kitchen, go get the bowl and bring it back to the hearth. Then I want you to sit and watch me eat the chips. Thanks!"
4. If I've done something to offend someone else, feigned ignorance is the best policy. Other Person: "Erin, did you just spill that vase of 4,000 decorative marbles?" Me: "What? Nothing."
5. Farting is never off-limits, and if you ask for a kiss, I might give you one, but I might lean in and burp in your face instead. For spontaneity is the spice of life.

Hey, we all have our guilty pleasures.



"Teenage Dream," Katy Perry: Can't give her any credit for this one -- I was turned onto it by the frothy-fun men's a cappella cover on Glee. Every time Kurt and Blaine are on screen together, my blood fizzes like I'm leaning in for a first kiss that's going to last forever.

"Sitting, Waiting, Wishing," Jack Johnson: He comes from the future-dentists'-office pedigree of reedy snivelers I can't stand, but I'll admit, I'm a sucker for this gently cloying melody. Plus, of all his songs, it has by far the least embarrassing name. Come on -- Bubble Toes?!

"Gold Digger," Kanye West: Kanye's music generally doesn't do it for me, and I'm irritated by the fact that he seems to think he is literally God. But yes, Kanye, I want pre-nup. I want pre-nup.

"July, July," Decemberists: Look, you only get one spin 'round this crazy old universe, and I'm not about to eat up my turn by listening to month-long meandering, maudlin songs about Chinese acrobats smashing up the masts of bottled ship models, or whatever in heaven's name those fellows are wailing about. That said, I'm a little bit obsessed with this quirky, upbeat number from their first full album.

Pretty much anything by Taylor Swift: But don't call me a Taylor Swift fan. My brooding, writerly ego just can't take it.

What songs are you always a bit surprised to find on your most-played list?

Posted by TKOG from Not That Kind of Girl.

My life lately has been...nutty. Days with nothing to do? I don't even know what that's like anymore. So unwinding at the end of a long day (or week) is a definite treat, and here I've narrowed it down to a few of my favorite ways to do so.

1.  A glass of wine + bad TV:  The wine doesn't even have to be GOOD. I just want a tall glass of it and I want to be watching something with a housewife, pregnant teen, or people in a "war" over baked goods.

2. My Kindle + silence:  I want a good book and no noise. Quiet puppy snores are the only exception.

3.  A happy hour + close friend + fried cheesy potato tot thingies:  My friend Lisa and I have our little dive bar we go to. We each get a double gin and tonic for $4 and a huge order of "Fried Cheddar Munchers" for $2. Pure, carb-infused, $6 bliss.

What do you do to unwind?
Posted by The Naked Redhead

Oh Facebook friend, my cherished Facebook friend, allow me to be frank: I have accepted your friendship for any one of a number of good reasons. Maybe I need your address for Christmas cards, maybe I want to stalk your wedding photos, maybe I just think you're a doll. That said, I did not friend you on Facebook to learn more about you. Which is probably a good thing, because 99% of profiles on the site irritate this exceedingly cantankerous old lady. Let's break down the offenders by profile zone.

Interests:

1. Claiming an "interest" you've clearly done only once. Really, you'd call "Making ninja swords out of pickle-bottles and claiming dominion over a sewer grate" an overarching life interest? Really?!
2. Including activities that are necessary for human life. Everyone likes sleeping, buddy, but most of us have enough other hobbies that we can fill our facebook profile with things we do while we're conscious.
3. Listing two or more forms of exercise. There's nothing actually wrong with this, per se, but look, dude, you and I have nothing to say to each other.

Favorite Quotations: Man, that little gem by your high school AP calc teacher gets wittier every year since gradu--oh, waaaaitaminute.

Music: If you're listing more than thirty bands and they're all in alphabetical order, dude, we all know you just opened up iTunes and listed every single bands you've ever downloaded a demo of on Napster. Come on, dude, if you want people to define you by your taste in music, at least give us a short enough list to actually read through.

Books: Six words: "I'm more of a magazine person." And the lord preserve the tattered fragments of your soul if I see you've listed Cosmo as a book.

Television: Tread carefully, kittens. And when in doubt about whether to include a guilty pleasure, for the love of pete, lie.

Yes, it is the first of the month and I am very grumpy. A feeling I'm going to work through by printing out my frenemies' Facebook profiles and marking them up with a red pen. What fbook profile foibles make your eyes bleed?

Posted by TKOG from Not That Kind of Girl.